Staplers Are Fun
by Merciless Princess
Summary: Tsukino Natsumi is a wild child, her parents send her to boarding school, she creates havoc, did I mention she steals staplers? Hehe, staplers....
1. ZEY SHALL PAY!

**I don't own Naruto, but I own Natsumi, her parents and the stapler, you'll see what I mean**

* * *

Attitude problem?!

What the fuck are you on old man?!

"I am not on anything, Miss Tsukino," my ancient principle said from opposite me, bushy white eyebrow twitching in annoyance.

Oh shit, I said that out loud?

Ah well, old man can go to hell.

"I haven't got an attitude problem, the guy deserved it," I snapped moodily, folding my arms over my chest and glaring miserably at my beat up black and blue converse.

Heh, that guy was black, blue _and_ red by the time I was through with, that'll teach him to grope me.

"Stop laughing, Miss Tsukino."

Fuck.

"Anyway, I spoke to your parents."

Well, that's never good.

"They're sending you to boarding school."

I promptly fell out of my seat in shock.

"WHAT ZE FUCK ARE ZEY ON?!" I screamed, jumping up and vaguely wondering why I was using a fake French accent.

"Do not swear at me, Miss Tsukino, and sit down so we can discuss this, your parents should be here in about ten minutes, they asked me to tell to lessen the shock, and violence, by the time they got here," my principle said and I gaped in shock.

"ZEY ARE OUT OF ZER MINDS! I SHALL HURT ZEM!" I screeched, grabbing the stapler from old man's desk and snapping it angrily.

"Miss Tsukino, why are you yelling in a fake French accent?"

"I don't know, but it's fun," I giggled, then went back to rage, snapping the stapler with fire shining in my green eyes, "ZEY SHALL PAY!"

Old man just sighed and left me snapping the stapler as I began giggling over the little pile of staples that was growing at my feet. Staplers were fun….hehe. But my mom came in ten minutes later and snatched the now empty stapler, slamming it onto old man's desk and snapping at me to sit.

Guess that's where I get my supposed 'attitude problem from'.

"Principal Sarutobi, I am so sorry," mom said and I mouthed the words along with her from behind her, my dad giving me a playful swat to the back of the head with a chuckle, "she won't be here at the beginning of September, for her final year, she'll be at Konoha Academy."

"Konoha Academy?! Are you guys out of your freaking minds?! One, we can't afford it! And two, it'd for posh nobs! I don' want to go there! I won't go there!" I shouted, standing, but dad placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and I glanced at him.

"Just give your mother a chance to talk, Natsumi," he smiled, gently pushing me back into my seat, and I nodded, scowling, but I did nod, "that's my girl."

That's what I love about my dad, whatever I did wrong, I was always his little girl, he always loved me. Cant say the same for mom, sometimes I feel like she never wanted me and having me was the biggest mistake of her life. I know she was so happy when she found out I was a little girl, she thought I'd be her little doll and she could dress me up. It went like that for a while, but then something inside me just snapped and I refused to be her dress up doll anymore. If she wanted to dress something up, go on those websites that let you do just that, and you don't have any arguments, or whinging, or whining, or struggling, they just stay motionless and let you do whatever.

Sorry, back to the conversation at hand.

"I'm sure Miss Tsukino will do fine at Konoha Academy, Mrs Tsukino," old man smiled and my mom smiled back, giving me a disappointed look though.

"Can I yell now?" I smirked and she slapped me over the back of the head, "child abuse! I'm calling social services! You're going down woman!"

She slapped me again.

"And you wonder where I get my violent tendencies from….."

The other three people in the office just looked at me silently.

"Principle, since I'm leaving, can I have something as a keepsake from my time here?" I grinned and everyone looked at me suspiciously.

Five minutes later, I was running down the corridor and snapping the stapler happily, cackling, with my parents slapping their hands to their foreheads. My classmates just rolled their eyes and my friends cheered me on, laughing.

* * *

**I know it's short, but it's just the intro, the next chapter will be a lot longer, then the real story starts.**

**Please review!**


	2. Staple his nose

Music blasted in my ears and mother jabbered on excitedly from the front seat. I just ignored her, the music drowning her out, and my dad gave me a smile in the rear view mirror, rolling his green eyes. A smile twitched onto my lips, the first all summer, and I glanced down at my lap, picking at a hole in my jeans.

My green eyes flicked up to look out the window, seeing a looming building in the distance, and I contemplated wrenching open the door and jumping out. Wait, that would hurt, looks like that idea's out the window. A ragged sigh pushed past my lips and I ran a hand through my dark brown hair.

The car stopped and I stayed put, glaring at the stupid school, oh, sorry, _Academy_, fingers tapping on my notebook. My parents got out the car, dad giving me a pleading look, and I, reluctantly, climbed out the car, taking my earphones out.

"Looks-"

"Like hell," I finished for my mother, who shot me a glare, which I just smiled sweetly at, slinging my bag onto my shoulder, "do I have to go here? It's so….."

"Much better than you," my mother snapped and I glared at her, "you're lucky your grandfather wanted you to have the best, Natsumi, he's paying for this, so don't screw it up," she warned as I grabbed a box of my things from the trunk and balanced it in my arms.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, mom, can we get the teary goodbyes done with now, or are we going to drag it out?" I drawled with a smirk and my father laughed, ruffling my shoulder length hair.

Mom looked at me for a moment, then hugged me tightly, taking me by surprise, "I mean it, just be a good girl, not for me, for yourself, please," she whispered chokingly and I gulped slightly, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah, yeah, mom, whatever," I said again and she laughed tearfully, "mom, get off, I'm going to drop my stuff, if it helps, I'll call, okay?" I practically begged, looking at my dad pleadingly, and he chuckled, gently prying my mother off me.

But she grasped my shoulders again, her teary blue eyes meeting my shocked green ones.

"I know I don't say it much, but I love you, Nat," she sniffed and I really didn't know what to do or say. She never called me 'Nat', no matter how much I told her and dad to, they always called me 'Natsumi'.

"Y-you too, mom," I managed and she smiled, "but I should go in, I'll e-mail or call or something, can I have my information, dad?"

He placed the slip of paper in my hand and I glanced down at it, box still balanced in my arms. Dad quickly placed mom in the car and I went into the large building, sighing. I was in room three-two-nine, on the third floor, I even had a little map, aw, the people here were so thoughtful to their inmates.

Weird, there's no one in the entrance hall, wait, there was something in the student manual thing I had to read about this. Oh yeah, all students have to stay on their dorm floors for the first day. I went to the elevator and pushed the button, mentally cursing my grandpa for agreeing to pay to send me here. The sudden sounds of running footsteps were heard and I glanced up with a frown.

Only to be crashed into by an orange mask wearing buffoon.

My things scattered across the floor and I swore loudly as my butt hit the tile hard, the boy shoving my things hazardously back into the box, apologizing profusely.

"Tobi is so sorry, miss, Tobi didn't see you, Tobi was looking for clay for Deidara-sempai," he rambled and I guessed he was Tobi.

"It's fine, you just startled me is all," I found myself saying in an uncharacteristically gentle tone, but he sounded so childlike, "thank you for helping me pick up my things," I smiled and I got the impression he was grinning beneath his swirly, orange mask.

"Tobi is glad you aren't yelling Tobi, nice lady! Tobi needs to go find that clay for Deidara-sempai!" he cried valiantly as I stood with my box balanced in my arms and he ran off.

I could've sworn he put something in his bag…..

Ah, I have an overactive imagination, oooh, elevator's open!

With a bruise rapidly forming on my butt, I got into the elevator and pressed the button for the third floor. Dull music floated around me and I rolled my green eyes, shifting impatiently in the damned elevator. Thankfully, the doors slid open and girls were swarmed around, chattering happily, not paying the slightest bit of notice to me as I went down the corridor, looking at the door numbers.

Three-two-four, three-two-five, three-two-six, three-two-seven, three-two-eight, three-two nine!

Somehow managing to open the door, I walked in and saw someone else's things already dumped messily on one of the beds. I put my things on the spare bed and rolled my shoulders, looking round. It wasn't bad, bit bland though, but there was enough room for two people at least.

The bathroom door opened and I looked round to see a girl with sandy blonde hair put in four bunches and blue-green eyes. She blinked at me for a moment, then smiled brightly and held a hand out to me.

"Temari," she grinned and I shook her hand.

"Natsumi, but everyone calls me Nat," I answered and she nodded, still grinning, "what's this place like then?" I asked and Temari scoffed, a scornful expression on her face, causing me to raise an eyebrow.

"As you've most likely seen, it's full of preppy, happy cheerleaders, that's enough said," she sneered and I grinned.

"I think we'll get along just fine, I don't suppose you'd be up for dying some hair green?" I giggled, holding up a bottle of hair dye, and Temari's eyes glinted mischievously.

"You're right, we'll get along just fine, Nat," she smirked.

Talking about nothing really, Temari and I began unpacking and dread suddenly rushed through my veins as I realized my notebook wasn't in my box or bag. Muttering curses, I tipped everything out and rummaged through it, desperately searching for my notebook.

"Hey, what's up? And why do you have about five staplers?" Temari asked.

"That little git, I'm going to fucking kill him, he stole my notebook," I growled and Temari rose an eyebrow, pointing to the staplers, "oh, I like staplers, I stole that one from my old principle."

"Okay," she shrugged like it was no big deal, "anyway, who stole your notebook?"

"Weird guy, orange mask, kept saying his name instead of 'I', Tobi," I answered and she groaned, "what?"

"Did it have pictures or anything on it?"

"Yeah, I stapled the names of my favourite bands on the front and doodled a couple of things, why?"

"Tobi steals stuff for his 'sempai', even when he doesn't want it, basically, Tobi's given your notebook to Deidara."

"That little bastard, what dorm room?"

"Four-six-two, but you're not allowed to leave your dorm floor, why is it so important anyway? Is it a diary?" Temari grinned teasingly and I shook my head.

"No, it's personal though, I write and I don't like people seeing my stuff, ever," I bit out, grabbing a stapler, leaving my dorm room and going to the elevator.

Temari followed me and she sighed, "fine, but let me talk to them, we know each other," she relented and I grinned.

"Thanks."

We reached the right floor and went to the right dorm, guys looking at us questioningly, a couple greeting Temari. She ignored them though and knocked clearly on the door, glancing warily at the stapler in my hand. The door opened and blonde boy looked at us with a raised eyebrow.

A squeal sounded inside and I saw Tobi dive under the bed.

"You little-!"

Temari grabbed the back of my shirt before I stapled his nose together and the blonde boy looked rather amused.

"Let her go, Temari, this'll be amusing, un," he smirked and Temari glared at him.

"Deidara-sempai! Nice lady's going to hurt Tobi!" Tobi cried.

"Too right I'm going to hurt you! Give back my notebook!" I snapped, diving on him, and he screamed, trying to wriggle away from the stapler.

"Is she going to staple him, un?" the blonde grinned.

"Nat! Don't staple him!" Temari yelled.

"STAPLE HIM!" the people outside cheered.

"DON'T STAPLE TOBI!" Tobi begged.

"Tell you what," I said, voice calm, "you give me my notebook back within the next, let's say, two seconds, I may not staple your nose."

"Deidara-sempai has it," Tobi whimpered.

"Not the right answer."

I was yanked off Tobi just before I ripped his mask off and stapled his nose.

"Deidara-sempai! You saved Tobi!" Tobi cried happily.

"You want to staple him, take it outside, I don't want to clean up the blood, un," the blonde holding me back said and I pouted.

"Fine, just give me my notebook back," I said, glaring at him, and he grinned, handing it to me as everyone else trickled away, grumbling about Tobi not being stapled.

"Your stuff isn't that bad," Deidara said offhandedly as I was at the doorway.

"You read it?" I hissed and he grinned, nodding.

"Let's go, Nat," Temari said quickly, dragging me away.

* * *

A finger poked my shoulder and I groaned, curling tighter around my pillow, groaning and mumbling something about paper clips. Damn paper clips steal the stapler's job.

Another poke to my shoulder and my green eyes fluttered open to see an amused Temari standing over me.

"Welcome assembly, one hour, hurry up," she stated and I rolled away from her prodding finger.

Only to crash to the floor in an ungraceful heap.

Temari started laughing and I gave the finger, heaving myself into a standing position and trudging into the bathroom. I heard Temari snicker behind me as I walked into the door frame and I mumbled all the insults in the book under my breath, slamming the door behind me loudly.

As you've most probably guessed, I'm not all that graceful when I've just woken up, in fact, I'm not very graceful at any given time, hehe.

An hour later, I was sitting in the large school hall and trying not to fall asleep, dressed in my school uniform. A green, knee length, pleated skirt, a white blouse, a red tie, a green blazer and green, knee length socks with a red line around the top.

Except I'd shoved my sleeves up to my elbows, loosened my tie considerably, unbuttoned two buttons of my blouse and decorated my blazer with numerous badges. I wasn't the only one though, Temari had done the same thing, so had quite a few boys, but Temari and I were the only girls.

With a small yawn, I ran a hand through my hair and someone sat on my other side, causing me to turn. My expression hardened at the sight of Tobi, and he whimpered, diving behind Deidara, who rolled his blue eyes and sunk into the seat instead.

"Where's a bloody gun when you need it?" I mumbled and Temari hastily covered her laughs with coughs.

"I thought you preferred staplers," she grinned, talking in a whisper.

"Nah, guns are more lethal," I smirked, also speaking in a whisper, "except I don't have a gun, so staplers are an okay replacement until I get one, I'm thinking shotgun."

Temari chuckled and shook her head, paying attention to the speaking principle, Tsunade. Turns out Konoha Academy have one hell of a lot of rules, curfews and loads of other boring stuff, and you have to obey every one of them, otherwise you're in loads of trouble.

Great.

I sighed and tilted my head up to look at the ceiling, folding my arms beneath my chest. So bored, so bloody bored, wish I'd brought my I-pod. I think I'm going to go crazy, honestly.

Prepare the institution, gents, Tsukino Natsumi's coming in.

* * *

**More randomness from the world of Tsukino Natsumi, hope you enjoyed**

**Thanks to I'LL-BE-THERE-4 -U and KiraUzamaki for reviews  
**


	3. Hoe, Bitch

Five…

Four…

Three…

Two…

One!

My fist connected with the top of Tobi's head harshly, my eyes closed, my eyebrow twitching.

He wailed and began running around, screaming for 'DEIDARA-SEMPAI!'. Temari snickered and I cracked open an eye to look at her as a few people began twitching in the common room.

Deidara walked into the room and Tobi latched onto him, the blonde's face contorting into a scowl. He began talking to me, but I just pointed to the earphones in my ears (okay, so the music was actually on really low so I could still hold a conversation, but I cannot be bothered to listen to Deidara's whining) and he glared at me.

Then yanked the earphones out with a smirk, painfully might I add.

"OW! You transvestite bastard!" I yelled, rubbing my ear, and his fingers jerked, like they wanted to curl around my throat, "I don't like you," I pouted and Temari giggled, "you, shut up, you, what do you want?"

Temari chuckled and went back to her homework and Deidara glared at me.

"Why is Tobi clinging to my leg, un?" he ground out.

"Because he has a gay crush on you."

Deidara paled.

Tobi didn't react.

Temari roared with laughter.

I smirked.

"GET IT OFF ME UN!" Deidara screamed, jumping up and down and shaking his leg in an attempt to get Tobi off his leg.

Surprisingly, the mask wearing boy had an incredibly strong grip.

"Tobi, Deidara's screaming is getting on my nerves, if you let him go, I'll give you lollypop," I sighed and Tobi was kneeling in front of me in an instant as I twirled a red lollypop in my hand, "you have to promise to not make Deidara scream like the girl he looks like _ever_ again, understand?" I warned and Tobi nodded rapidly, "good boy," I smiled brightly, handing him the lollypop, and he hid behind the couch I was sitting on with it.

"I-I only have to bribe him with lollypops, un?" Deidara croaked, sinking into the armchair opposite me, and I nodded, "how do you know that?! You've only been here two weeks?!"

"I was eating a lollypop the other day and he wouldn't stop pestering me for one," I shrugged, looking back at my homework, "hey, Hidan, Kakuzu," I added absently as they appeared and Temari glared at the silver haired boy.

I'd met almost everyone in the past two weeks, thanks to Temari, and I only really liked the guys, except Tobi. The guys in my class were actually pretty cool and I didn't mind them, so I had at least _some_ friends at Konoha Academy now, apart from Temari.

The two boys merely nodded to me, Hidan smirking at Temari, and the sandy blonde haired girl snorted disdainfully, putting her pen to the page with a little more force than necessary. With an amused smirk, I scratched out my essay for English and vaguely wondered why we had homework so early. Evil Kakashi-sensei….

"NICE LADY!"

"THE MARTIANS ARE COMING!"

"MARTIANS?!"

"From Mars."

"TOBI IS GOING TO FIND THEM!"

With that, Tobi ran from the common room and everyone just stared after him with expressions of 'is he really that retarded?'. I giggled and went back to my essay, shaking my head with amusement.

"How can someone be so fucking _stupid_?" Hidan muttered as we saw Tobi running around on the lawn outside, and we all just shrugged our shoulders.

"You are," Temari mumbled under her breath and I was the only one who heard her. A frown passed over my face and I looked at my roommate, wondering why she hated Hidan so. Every time I brought the subject up, she brushed it aside and refused to talk about it.

* * *

"Tem, why do you hate Hidan? And do not change the subject, we're friends, right?" I said, sitting up and looking over at her.

"I don't want to talk about, Nat," Temari sighed and I shrugged.

"Fine, but I'll find out one day, bitch."

"Sure, whatever, hoe."

"CAN'T FIND THE MARTIANS!"

"Look a little to the left Tobi!"

Temari laughed and I giggled, laying back on my bed and looking up at the ceiling.

"TOBI FOUND A PINK HAIRED MARTIAN!"

Temari and I shot into a sitting positions and bolted to the window, seeing Tobi jumping up and down and pointing to an offended looking freshman girl. Almost instantly, we began laughing hysterically and were soon clutching our sides in agony. Tears of laughter rolled down my cheeks and I doubled over, unable to breathe.

"I AM NOT A MARTIAN!"

That made us laugh even more and I crashed to the floor, gasping for air.

"NICE LADY SAID THERE WERE MARTIANS! YOU ARE NOT NORMAL! YOU ARE A MARTIAN!"

I couldn't breathe!

"I AM NOT A MARTIAN YOU RETARD!"

"HEY! Seniors are the only ones allowed to call Tobi a retard!" Temari yelled out the window and I nodded my agreement, "now get inside before we report you, freshman!" Temari added and the girl flushed embarrassedly, bolting into the school, "you too Tobi!"

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi cried happily, bouncing into the school.

Temari and I lapsed back into laughter instantly.

Turns out, I didn't actually mind Konoha Academy. Sure, most of the girls were complete bitches, but I didn't give a shit, and the work was really difficult and the teachers were bastards (one of them was even Principle Sarutobi's _son_, I'd nearly fainted when I found out, Deidara had had to push my jaw back up, much to his amusement). But I'd made a few friends, there was Temari, Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi and Kisame, the majority guys.

Heh, maybe my mother was actually right, I would do well at Konoha Academy.

"Wanna draw stuff on the other girls in permanent marker when they're asleep?"

"I love you, Nat."

Okay, I was still a trouble maker at heart.

* * *

Girls glowered at each other as they walked into class and Temari and I sniggered. We'd drawn on everyone's faces, most were insults and rude pictures, and realised that we had to draw on ourselves as well, otherwise we'd prime suspects. I had 'HOE' scrawled down my cheek in green and Temari had 'BITCH' across her forehead in black.

The boys walked in and just stared at girls in shock, then our friends eyes slid to us, grinning. Temari and I hastily tried to look innocent, but Kisame and Deidara were already in front of us, grinning.

"Hello, bitch, hoe," Itachi stated calmly, sitting at the desk behind us, and we glared at him.

He deemed us ignorable.

"Why did you do it?" Kisame demanded, looking incredibly amused, and Temari and I glanced at each other.

"Bored."

"You wrote 'I take it up the ass' on Karin's face, un," Deidara snorted and a devious smirk slid over Temari's lips.

"I didn't know you were gay, Deidara, I guess that explains it, huh, Nat?" she grinned and Deidara glared, daring me to reply.

"Yep, totally explains the effeminate look, and why Tobi has a crush on him," I nodded with a sigh, folding my arms over my chest.

"I am not gay, un!"

"We don't believe you," Temari and I answered.

"I'll prove it, un!"

"Go ahead," we shrugged.

He grabbed Temari and kissed her full on the lips.

"Okay, wasn't expecting that," I muttered in shock.

Temari's blue-green eyes fell closed as she began responding and Kisame, Hidan and I just stared with wide eyes.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" Hidan yelled.

Deidara and Temari stayed lip locked.

"They're kissing," I answered absently, watching them with morbid fascination.

"Why?!" Hidan demanded.

"So Deidara can prove he's not gay," Kisame replied, eyes also fixed on the scene.

"Why the fuck is he doing that?!"

"Because Temari and I were teasing him, don't they need air?"

"Dunno," Kisame shrugged.

"This is fucking stupid."

"Shut up," Kisame and I ordered.

"You two are fucking sick."

"Shut the fuck up."

Deidara and Temari slowly broke apart, him smirking triumphantly, her looking slightly dazed, and she suddenly slapped him clear across the face.

"HOW DARE YOU?!"

"You totally enjoyed it," Kisame, Deidara and I all scoffed and she quickly gave me a look that said traitor.

"Sorry…"

"Temari, Natsumi, Principle Tsunade wishes to see you," Iruka said sternly, entering the classroom, and everyone looked round at us, "now," Iruka added sharply and we stood, slinging our bags onto our shoulders.

"Let's go, hoe," Temari grinned.

"Okie dokie, bitch," I laughed.

We walked out the classroom with glares burning into our backs and grinned mischievously, high fiving when we were out of sight. Quiet cackles escaped us as we went to the principle's and didn't bother wondering _how_ anyone knew it was us who'd drawn over _every_ girl in the school's faces, including a few of the teachers.

Maybe that was going a tad too far….

Heh, they pissed us off, the totally deserved it.

"Already in trouble, Miss Tsukino," an all too familiar voice sighed as I entered the office and my jaw dropped.

"OLD MAN?!" I screamed in shock.

"You mean the one you stole the stapler from?" Temari whispered and I nodded.

"That reminds me, I need that back," Principle Sarutobi smiled.

"No, it belongs to me now, it even has my name carved in it," I pouted, "why are you even here, old man?"

"Visiting my son," he answered.

"Asuma-sensei?"

"You know him?"

"Yeah, he's almost as annoying as you."

His white, bushy, eyebrow twitched and I smiled innocently.

"I miss you, old man," I cried, hugging him, and Temari snorted with laughter, "shut up, bitch."

"Fuck you, hoe."

"Don't even get me started, you dog."

"Yeah, whatever, you cow."

"Why are we friends, fishie?"

"Because everyone else hates you, whore."

I stopped, looking away with a hurt expression.

"Too far?"

"Totally."

"I'm sorry!"

We hugged tightly and I 'sobbed' into her shoulder, the four adults that were now in the room watching with raised eyebrows.

"I'm sorry Nat!" Temari wailed.

"I'm sorry too Tem!" I cried.

"GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!" Principle Tsunade shouted tiredly and we ran for it, grinning triumphantly.

We were good…..wait, Tsunade had a shiny stapler.

"Noooooooooooo! Shiny stapler!" I whined as Temari dragged me away.

* * *

**Haha, I just had to bring Sarutobi 'Old Man' back, I just love the teasing relationship Natsumi has with him**

_**tobi7**_**: Thanks for the great idea! I've just got images of Natsumi running out with a staple in her arm, feeling utterly betrayed, now**

_**SkywardShadow**_**: Thank you for reviewing, I hope you liked this chapter!**

_**kinara-chan**_**: NO! Please don't beat the zhizz out of me! I've updated! *cowers behind an immensely confused Gaara***

_**Wolfdmon**_**: Thank you for taking the time to review! It means a lot!**


	4. In the arm!

"You have about the next five seconds to get out of my way, freshman."

The smirking, arrogant, little, spiky haired brat refused to move and my eyebrow twitched.

"Natsumi, are you threatening my brother?" Itachi asked, appearing next to me, and I blinked in surprise.

"Brother? You mean a cold, ice cube like you has a family?" I smirked and he slapped me over the back of the head, calm and dignified as always, "okay, totally not necessary, and ow, hello, pain in the pain in the _pain_!"

"Hn."

"You're an ass."

A glare was sent my way.

"Can I staple your brother?"

"Go ahead."

"Itachi!" the little punk cried as I got a stapler from my bag and snapped it threateningly, "you wouldn't," he said confidently and Itachi walked away as people looked with eager eyes, seeing if I really would staple him.

He grabbed my wrist and drove the stapler away from me.

It went into my arm.

"MOTHER FUCKER!" I screamed and the freshman stared at my stapled arm with wide, onyx eyes.

Then bolted.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BRAT!" I yelled, holding my throbbing arm to my chest, "shit, that hurts, now I need to get the staple out, this is going to me fun."

With gritted teeth, I managed to hook my acid green nails beneath the staple and yank it out. I hissed in pain, blood spilling from the small holes in my arm, and flicked the staple away. Flexing my bleeding arm, I went to my class, whistling, and shoved the stapler into my bag, patting it fondly.

I went into my class and Asuma stared at my bloody arm, "accident with a stapler," I shrugged, wiping the blood away, and he just pointed to my seat next to a rather pale Temari, "what's up with you?" I smirked, sitting next to her and placing my bleeding arm on the desk.

"Nothing," she squeaked.

"Tem, are you afraid of blood?"

"No!" she said quickly, too quickly.

"You are! Aw, Tem, it's just a little liquid."

"Life liquid! It should be in your body!"

"How on earth do you cope on your period?"

I'd spoken louder than intended and everything just went silent as everyone stared at me.

Temari slapped me over the back of the head and I was _this_ close to having my nose spattered across the desk. I rubbed the back of my head, shooting her a glare, and she glared right back, everyone still just staring at us.

"What?" we snapped.

"We're not in science, this is history," Asuma coughed and we glanced at each other, amusement glittering in our eyes, "refrain from speaking of such matters in my classroom."

"It's just a natural thing, Asuma-sensei," Temari cooed sweetly and his cheeks colored.

"Yeah, Kurenai-sensei has periods too," I added, also in a sugary tone, and I heard people struggling to conceal laughter around us.

"And she kicks your butt for groping her."

"And tells you she can't sleep with you."

"And you get all upset."

"And-"

"OLD MAN!" I cried happily, leaping up and hugging my old principle, "you gave Asuma the sex talk right? Because he knows _nothing_."

Sarutobi gaped at me, Asuma was the color of a strawberry and everyone else was howling with laughter.

"Miss Tsukino, are you terrorizing and traumatizing your new teachers?" Sarutobi asked calmly.

"Just Asuma-sensei, I miss you, old man."

"Stop calling me that."

"No."

"Why are you bleeding?"

"It was Itachi's brother's fault, he forced the stapler into my arm, the stapler betrayed me."

Sarutobi just patted my head as I sobbed.

* * *

With my arm tightly bandaged (Temari had insisted if I was going to sleep in her dorm, _her_ dorm, _our_ dorm), I did my homework and ignored Deidara, who was sitting next to me and making a clay spider. Urgh, I don't like spiders….

"What are you doing?" I demanded as Deidara slipped something into the clay spider, and he just smirked at me.

Then the spider began scuttling across the table and I yelped, grabbing my things and drawing my legs right up onto the couch, face draining of color. Deidara laughed and I glared at him, my books and notebook clutched tightly to my chest.

"Get rid of it!" I snapped, letting out a squeak as it came nearer, "Deidara! Please! I hate spiders!" I whined, my wide, green eyes focussed on the spider.

And it exploded, covering me with clay.

Deidara began cackling, the entire room looked up, sniggering, and I wiped the clay from my face with a deadly expression.

"Run."

Deidara bolted, with me hot on his tail, and Tobi began bouncing after us.

Temari walked past as I tackled Deidara's legs out from beneath him and began bitch slapping him, much to her amusement.

"Deidara-sempai! I'll go get help!" Tobi cried, running away.

"NO! Tobi! OW!" Deidara yelled as I slapped him again.

A few minutes later, Hidan, Kisame, Itachi, Kakuzu, Konan (she was awesome, not a prep, yet not really loud and hyper like Temari and me), Pein (the leader of the boys' little gang, had loads of piercings, is pretty cool), Tobi, Sasori (has an obsession with puppets) and Zetzu (has an obsession with plants) were watching me beat Deidara with amusement.

But, Sasori soon had pity for his blonde friend and pulled me away.

"Aw, I was having fun," I pouted, "let me beat him a wittle more, pwease, Sasowi?" I said in a baby voice and Sasori looked mildly amused.

"Do not let the crazy girl go, un!" Deidara cried, standing and rubbing his ankle, "I think you sprained my ankle."

"My knuckles hurt," I sniffled.

"Aw, come 'ere!"

A teasing Temari cuddled me and I pouted.

"It's all meanie Deidawa's fault, Temawi," I said cutely.

"I know sweetie, I'll take care of meanie Deidara."

"You pwomise?"

"Yep."

"Can I stop talking in this stupid voice?"

"Yep!"

"Thank fuck for that."

With that, I wriggled away and skipped down the corridor, singing 'la di da' happily, the others all sweat dropping.

* * *

**I know, short, and random, just like this entire story, but it is going somewhere, I promise!**

_**kinara-chan**_**: no, not Sasuke, anyone but Sasuke *whimper of fear* keep the Emo Prince back, or-or-or-or-or I'll make Lee give you a lecture on youth, **_**with**_** Gai-sensei in the room and the sunset background!**

_**tobi7**_**: glad you enjoyed ;p**

_**hotaru'sgirlforever**_**: here's the new update, I hope you enjoy it, and thanks for the fave**


	5. I'm Sorry

"Yeah, mom, everything's fine," I smiled, watching Hidan chase Tobi round the room, yelling curses loudly, "and I've done my homework and everything."

"_I knew you'd do well at Konoha Academy_," mom said happily down the phone, "_have you made lots of friends_?"

"Yeah, mom, most of the girls are bitches though," I sighed, rolling my eyes at Temari, who snickered, "but I've made friends."

"_Your father says hi, dear, how are your grades_?"

"Usual, Cs, Bs."

"_You can get As if you really try, Natsumi_."

"I'm doing my best, mom."

"_But that's just it, Natsumi, you're not, you muck about and get average grades, when you could be top_."

"No, mom, I couldn't, Itachi's top."

Itachi glanced up at the mention of his name, "I'm on top?" he smirked and I laughed.

"_Natsumi! This is not a laughing matter_!" mom shouted and I rolled my eyes, still giggling.

"Not that, mom, someone said something funny."

"_You aren't even paying attention_?!"

"I am paying attention!"

"Ooooh, Nat's getting yelled at un," Deidara grinned.

"Fuck you."

"_Excuse me, young lady?! You watch your language_!"

"Not you mom!" I yelled back.

"_Don't talk to me like that_!"

"Gotta go, mom."

"_To a party no doubt, I wouldn't be surprised if when you got home you had a tattoo_."

"Yeah, mom, a party, with lots of guys and we're going to have a gang bang," I drawled and the guys stared at me, Temari giggling beside me.

"_I'll tell your grandfather that shall I_?"

"Sure, go ahead, I'm sure he'll find it hilarious, tell him I love him."

"_Tsukino Natsumi, if I find out that you've been to a party on a school night, I will punish you so badly you'll wish you were in hell, do you understand me_?"

"Gotta go, mom, the bikers are here."

"_Bikers?! What bikers?! NATSUMI!_"

I hung up on her and groaned.

"So, I'm on top?" Itachi smirked and I rolled my green eyes with a grin.

"Yeah, Itachi, you can be on top anytime."

* * *

My phone woke me from my deep slumber and my hand scrabbled about for it, the rest of my body still beneath the covers. My fingers soon curled around the device and I drew it under my covers, eyes still closed, answering it with a grunted 'hey' to whoever was on the other end.

"_Tsukino Natsumi_?" an unknown voice asked.

"Depends on asking," I yawned.

"_Your parents' doctor, Miss Tsukino_," the voice replied and a frown crossed my face, green eyes slowly cracking open, body slowly raising into a sitting position.

"Yeah, this is her," I said slowly, "what's up?"

"_I'm sorry to tell you, but your parents were in a car crash, Miss Tsukino_," the voice said gently and my heart stopped beating, I swear, "_they're still in surgery right now, Konoha General Hospital_."

"This has to be some kind of mistake," I whispered, drawing my knees to my chest and burying my face in them, teeth gritted to stop the tears, "you have to be wrong."

"_I'm sorry, Miss Tsukino, there's no mistake_."

"No, there has to be, okay? Because they're my _parents_, I just spoke to my mom yesterday afternoon, everything was fine, she and dad were going to see grandpa."

"_I'm sorry, Miss Tsukino_."

"They're going to be okay, right? My parents are going to be okay?"

"_We'll do our best_."

"You're best isn't good enough! Do more than your best!" I shouted, tears slipping down my cheeks, and Temari groaned in her sleep.

"_Maybe you should be here, for when they get out of surgery_."

"Ye-yeah, I will, sorry for shouting," I choked out, snapping my phone shut and biting my bottom lip so hard I drew blood.

Shoving my tears back, I got out of bed and threw on a red hoody over my Betty Boop pajama top and pants. Temari hadn't woken, thankfully, and I shoved my things into a bag, before writing a quick note to my roommate and friend, explaining. With that done, I left the dorm and went into the night silently, tears streaming down my cheeks.

But my body collided with someone else's and my teary green eyes met a pair of startled blue ones.

"Natsumi? Where are you going? And why are you crying, un?" Deidara demanded and I hastily looked away, wiping at my tears shamefully, "Nat?"

"My parents were in a car crash, they're in surgery now, I need to get to the hospital," I stated, voice blank, and Deidara nodded.

"Come on, I'll give you a lift, un," he said, steering me to his car before I could protest.

We were soon in his car and he rolled his eyes at my pajamas, hey, these were freaking Betty Boop! I shot him a tearful glare, raking a hand through my messy, dark brown hair, and Deidara just started driving. We sat in silence, my eyes focussed on my lap, and the streetlamps flashed the car in orange light as we drove past them.

Too soon for my liking, we were outside the hospital and I looked at it, its soft lights giving me the sense of doom.

"Deidara, will-will you come in with me? Please? I don't want to go on my own," I whispered and the blonde nodded, getting out the car.

Reluctantly, I followed his example and trailed after him into the hospital. We reached the doors and I stopped, biting my bottom lip, scared of what I might see or hear if I go in. Deidara glanced back at me, then silently held a hand out to me. I looked at it for a moment, before curling my fingers around his and following him into the hospital.

Nurses bustled around, smiling, happy, and I looked at the ground, a tear sliding down my cheek. A soft pressure was applied to my hand and I clung to Deidara tightly, scared, worried, hurting.

"Tsukino," he said to the nurse.

"Are you relative, sir?" the nurse asked.

"No, but she is, she's their daughter, un," Deidara answered, jerking his head towards me, and I raised my gaze to the nurse, "can she see them?"

"Mrs Tsukino is out of surgery, but Mr Tsukino was on the side the other car hit, he sustained the most damage, but you can see your mother, Miss Tsukino, family only though I'm afraid," the nurse smiled sympathetically and I bit my bottom lip, "but, I suppose we can make an exception for your boyfriend."

"Boy-!" Deidara cut off my exclamation with his hand, smiling.

"Thanks," he grinned, "what room?"

The nurse quickly told us the room and Deidara led me there, ignoring my glower, "why did you say we were together?" I hissed when we were out of sight from the nurse.

"Do you want me here?" Deidara demanded, turning on me, and I bit my bottom lip again, nodding, "then, for the purposes of this visit, we're together, okay, Nat, un?"

"Alright, but you even think about groping me, what I did to you yesterday for showering me with clay will look like child's play," I threatened and he scoffed.

"I would never grope _you_, there's nothing _to_ grope, un."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"That you're rather lacking in the boob department, dear, butt too, un."

"You're lucky we're in a hospital because you're going to need one!"

"You're the one that needs a hospital, for a boob job, un."

With that, he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving me gaping after him.

I glanced down at my boobs. They weren't _that_ small, I was a B, what? Did he want me to be a size F or something? And my butt was fine! I liked my butt!

"Are you coming, un?"

"Not with you around."

Deidara glared at me from down the corridor.

With my nose in the air, I went into my mother's hospital room and all selfish, angry thoughts went out the window.

My mother laid there, wires attached to her, bandages, cuts, bruises covering her, and she looked so vulnerable, not like my mom at all. My mom yelled at me to do my homework, or clean my room, or just _behave_ for crying out loud. She was never like _this_.

"Mom," I croaked and Deidara's hand settled on my shoulder. My fingers curled round his again, tears sliding down my cheeks, and he gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "She doesn't look like my mom," I whispered, turning and burying myself into Deidara's chest, sobbing softly.

"Hey! Um, shit, just wait here, I'll be right back, I promise, un," he said, wriggling free and running out the room.

Coward.

With tears still sliding down my cheeks, I sunk into a seat next to my mom and picked up her limp hand, "hey, mom, it's me, your idiotic daughter," I said quietly, rubbing a thumb over her hand, "I know I don't ever say it or anything, but I-I do love you, mom, so, you have to wake up, okay? Even if it's just so you can yell at me, or tell me I'm useless and will never amount to anything, alright?"

She stayed motionless, dark brown hair fanned out over the pillow.

"Mom, I'm sorry I never do as I'm told, I'm sorry I had to make you send me to a private school, I'm sorry I'm so mean to people, I'm sorry I make you disappointed in me, I'm sorry I an never, _ever_, do anything right, and I'm sorry that you may never hear me say this," I choked out through my tears, squeezing my eyes shut and facing my head downwards, "but, most of all, I'm sorry that I never said goodbye properly, when we talked earlier, and that I was such an idiot, I really will try my hardest in school if you wake up."

Small sobs escaped me, my body trembling, and I rested my forehead on my mom's arm, clinging to her tightly.

"Nat, I called Temari, she'll be here n a few minutes, okay, un?" Deidara's voice said and my head snapped up to look at him.

"Ye-yeah, thanks, Deidara," I smiled tearfully and he just shook his head, placing a hand on my shoulder, "do you think she's going to be okay?" I whispered and he squeezed my shoulder with a grin.

"Of course, who else is going to yell at you over the phone for things you aren't even going to do, un?" he laughed and I giggled tearfully, swiping a hand over my cheeks and wiping away my tears, "besides, if she died, you'd be depressed, and a depressed Nat isn't normal, I think the lower school would have heart attacks if you didn't snap 'move freshman!' at random parts of the day, un."

"Thank you, you're a great friend, Deidara," I smiled, looking back at my unmoving mom, "and you're right, everything's going to be fine, even if I sit here for weeks, and daddy's going to be okay too, how can I be daddy's girl without a daddy?"

Deidara chuckled and gave me a gentle hug from behind, wrapping his tanned arms around my shoulders comfortingly.

* * *

**Aw, sad :( And I am especially sad I only got one review, how could you all desert me? No, seriously, I'm totally crying right now, but I still have **_**kinara-chan**_**, who I have one thing to say to:**

**KEEP THEM AWAY! I have Gai-sensei, Lee, who have bushiest eyebrows known to man, and……**_**Gaara**_**! A terrible contrast to the two! He will terrify you with his lack of eyebrows! Hahahahaha-*chokes***


	6. Itchy

I felt like crap.

I was still in my Betty Boop pajamas and the hoody I'd thrown on after I'd gotten the call and I hadn't showered in five days, waiting for my father to wake up. Deidara and Temari were currently at school and I was just sitting beside my father's bed, my mother talking to me quietly from behind me.

"Go to school, you'll fall behind," she said gently, "I'll have the doctor call if there's any change."

"Temari's getting my work, and I talked to Principal Tsunade on the phone, she says I have as much time as I need," I replied, voice blank, and mom sighed, "I just want to be here when he wakes up, when he does, I'll go, okay?" I smiled, looking back at her, and she sighed, but nodded, "argument over," I grinned, getting my notebook and tucking my legs beneath me.

My pen moved slowly over the page of my notebook, small, barely legible words forming, and a small smile twitched at my lips as the words made shape. I felt my mother's blue eyes on me and I flashed her a quick smile, before looking back down at my notebook and tucking my dark brown hair behind my ear.

"A smile? Is that a smile we see, Temari, Sasori, Tobi, un?" an annoying voice said and I turned, green eyes narrowing on the blonde boy in the doorway.

"NAT!" Tobi cried happily, hugging me, "uh, Nat needs a shower."

"Yes, thank you, Tobi, get off," I snapped, coloring slightly, and Temari threw me a bag with clean clothes and wash things in, "thank you, Tem, I'll be right back, okay, mom?" I said, standing and putting my notebook on the chair.

"Yes, dear," mom smiled and I left quickly to the toilets.

Ten minutes later, I was back and refreshed, clean clothes, washed and happy. An amused smile slid onto my lips as I saw my mother blinking at my arguing in whispers friends and Sasori was telling them to be quiet.

"Nat's back!" Tobi shouted happily, hugging me again, "Deidara-sempai hit Tobi!"

"Deidara, don't hit Tobi," I sighed.

"And Temari shouted at Tobi."

"Tem, don't shout at Tobi."

"And Sasori sat on Tobi."

"Sasori, suffocate Tobi."

"Nat's mean!"

"Natsumi, don't be mean to Tobi," my own mother scolded and my jaw dropped in shock, "he's such a sweet boy," she smiled and Tobi bounced over to her.

"Nat, your mother's going to try and set you up with Tobi," Temari whispered and my eyes widened in horror.

But my eyes were drawn to my father as he groaned softly and we all just stared at him. I was by his side in an instant, crouching beside the bed.

"Daddy?" I said quietly, taking his hand and biting my bottom lip slightly, "dad? Can you hear me?"

Green eyes slowly opened and a grin spread onto my face.

"Dad!" I cried joyfully, hugging him, and he chuckled weakly, wrapping an arm around me loosely, "I was worried about you!"

"My Nat? Worried? I thought she only cared about driving me up the wall with worry," he joked weakly and I giggled, tears filling my eyes as I released him, "aw, my little girl doesn't cry, she's as tough as old boots."

"Tougher," I said stubbornly, "stronger than steel."

"Of course, now, who are all these people?" dad croaked, gesturing to my friends.

"Oh, friends from school, Temari, Sasori, Tobi, and Deidara," I answered, gesturing to them all in turn, "they've been really nice, dad."

"Friends with _boys_?"

"Dad-"

"You better-"

"Dad!"

"Well you better be a-"

"I am not having this conversation!"

"You keep interrupting me before we can even _start_ the conversation."

"Because I don't want to have this conversation, we had it five months ago, and once is enough for one lifetime, trust me."

"Raiden, just leave her, she's been worried sick," mom cut in and dad pouted, but silenced, leaning back on the pillows tiredly, "and, Tobi, could you go tell the doctor that he's awake."

"No!" Deidara, Temari and I all cried at the same time.

"Why not?" mom frowned as Tobi had the air of being upset.

"Um, because, uh, Sasori's closer to the door!" Temari declared, shoving the redhead to the door, "go get the doctor, Sasori."

Silently, he left.

"I love Sasori," I breathed with relief and everyone looked at me, "not like that! He's a friend!" I protested quickly at Temari's smirk, heat flooding to my cheeks.

"Of course, Nat," Temari laughed, grabbing me in a headlock and ruffling my hair, "god, you need to wash your hair, it's filled with grime."

"She's going back to school today," mom announced.

"Huh?!" I yelped, looking at her from my spot in the headlock.

"You said when your father woke up, you'd go back to school," mom smirked, looking freakily like me, and I pouted.

"Yay! It's been so boring without you!" Tobi cheered, hugging me, and I gasped for air, "can we write on people's faces?!"

"What was that?" mom asked sharply.

"Nothing!" I laughed nervously, yanking out of Tobi's bone crushing hug and smiling innocently.

"Natsumi," mom said warningly.

"Nat and Temari wrote on all the girls faces, including some of the teachers," Tobi said happily, oblivious to my imminent death.

"Well, would you look at the time, let's go!" I said cheerfully, grabbing Tobi and punching him in the head, sending him crashing to the ground.

With Deidara grabbing Tobi, we all ran out the room and I aught Sasori's arm as we passed him and the doctor, dragging him out the hospital. Temari was cackling, Deidara was chuckling, Tobi was giggling, Sasori looked mildly confused, and bored, and I was glaring at Tobi.

The laughing blonde boy threw Tobi into the car and Temari yanked me in after him, Deidara driving and Sasori in the front. Shouts echoed round the car and I giggled, feeling light hearted for the first time in five days, Temari hugging me tightly. Deidara began yelling at Tobi, who was sprawled over Temari to fiddle with the stereo, and Temari tried shove the idiot off her.

"Why did I ever miss this?" I groaned as I got elbowed in the stomach by a wailing Tobi and Temari laughed, "hey, Sasori, wanna swap seats?" I grinned hopefully.

He snorted disdainfully, "no."

"Bastard."

Pouting, I leaned back in my seat and realization suddenly dawned on me.

"SHIT!" I screamed and Deidara slammed on the brakes with a yelled curse, "turn the car around! I left my notebook behind!" I cried, smacking the blonde's hands in an attempt to make him drive faster.

"Nat! Get off me un!" Deidara shouted, trying to shove me away, and I continued to try to get him to turn the car around.

"Natsumi," Sasori's calm voice cut through our shouting and I looked at him, "get back in your seat."

I shrunk instantly into my seat.

Voice reminded me of my grandpa.

Grandpa was a bastard, hadn't even visited his own daughter and son-in-law in hospital, I knew there was a reason I hated him.

"Meanie, Sasori," I mumbled and Temari sniggered, "shut up," I whined, shoving Tobi out the way and fiddling with the stereo.

"Nat, no, bad Nat, un," Deidara scolded, slapping at my hands, and I pinched him, trying to find a good station.

Sasori forcefully shoved me back.

"Aw, shit, that hurt," I muttered, rubbing the back of my head where it'd collided roughly with the seat, "I don't like you anymore, Sasori."

"I never liked you."

Tears rapidly filled my eyes and silence rang through the car. My arms wrapped around Sasori and I began crying into his shoulder, the others rolling their eyes at my dramatics.

"I do like you Sasori!" I wailed, "I'm sorry for saying otherwise!"

"Get off me," he bit out, trying to tug me away.

Stubbornly, I held on.

"WE'RE AT SCHOOL UN!" Deidara roared over my wails and Temari yanked me out the car, resulting in me landed harshly on my butt.

"Owie," I whined, standing and rubbing the small of my back.

Then spotted my friends.

"KISAME!" I cried happily, latching onto him arms around his neck, "you didn't come and visit."

"No," he replied.

"I missed you," I pouted, then cuddled Itachi, "I missed you, Itchy."

"Don't call me that," he bit out, eye twitching.

"I love you too, Itchy," I grinned, skipping away, and Temari was cackling as she followed me, "ah, good to be back and annoying my friends," I laughed and Temari pushed me playfully.

* * *

**Aaaah! This took so long, and I'm still not happy with it, argh! Anyways, hope you like it….**

_**BeNiceToAnime**_**: thanks!**

_**hotarusgirlforever:**_** I know, but it's better now!**

_**kinara-chan**_**: you are a worthy foe, but, I have the ninja doggies! *ninja dogs appear with Akamaru as their leader* they shall defeat your ninja kitties! Now, Akatsuki assemble! Hah! Akatsuki will beat you!**

_**xXfluffyXx013**_**: aw, thanks! I like you and get grounded again! I order it!**

_**Wolfdmon**_**: Nooo, don't cry, and no, I didn't know what haberdasher meant, guess you learn something new everyday, huh? Hehe**

_**sunshineemomix**_**: thank you very much!**


	7. New Recruits

"HIDAN!"

A loud curse followed my happy cry as Hidan and I were sent sprawling to the ground from my, um, over enthusiastic hug.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"

"NO!"

"NAT! I'M NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD FOR THIS!"

"I WANT TO HUG YOU!"

"TOUGH SHIT!"

"NOT MOVING!"

"GET OFF ME BEFORE I FUCKING SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN!"

"That's just nasty…"

"GET OFF!"

"So mean to Nat," I huffed, standing and going over to Deidara, plonking myself in the seat next to him, "Dei-Dei, Hidan's mean to Nat."

"Have you been hanging around with Tobi again, un?" Deidara sighed.

"Yep!"

Deidara groaned and I began talking rapidly, bouncing up and down on the couch with a grin. Everyone blinked at my hyper-ness, amused, and Itachi suddenly slapped me over the back of the head. With a wail, I glared tearfully up at him, rubbing the back of my head, and he glared at me.

"Bastard," I mumbled.

"Have you had sugar, un?" Deidara asked.

"Just a little…"

"How much?" Itachi demanded, sounding rather like a stern father.

"Some lollypops," I answered, looking down into my lap.

"How many, un?" Deidara questioned.

"Three."

"Natsumi," Itachi warned, "do not lie to us."

"Twenty three."

"TWENTY THREE UN?!"

"I was hungry!"

"You should have proper food," Itachi scolded calmly.

"I'm sorry, Itchy."

"As you should be."

"Can I have a hug?"

"No."

"But why?"

"This is your punishment, no hugs for the rest of the day."

"But-"

"No."

"EVIL ITCHY!"

Itachi glared at me as Deidara and Hidan laughed and Kisame looked on with confusion, having just walked in.

"Kisame, can I have a hug?"

"Of course you can," he cooed, hugging me, and Itachi glared.

"She's not allowed hugs," he snapped and Kisame instantly released me.

"Dammit, I need hugs," I muttered, sulking, and Itachi just patted my head as he sat on my other side and put on the basketball on the television, "I'll stop calling you Itchy," I bargained and he scoffed.

"Never happen."

"Good point, I'll hit Deidara everyday for your amusement."

"Hey, un!"

"You do that anyway."

"Oh yeah, I'll feed Kisame sushi."

"NO!"

"Deal."

"Yes!" I cheered, hugging the Uchiha happily, and he sighed, patting my head tiredly as Temari walked in, "hey Tem! Hug Itachi! It's fun!" I grinned and she rolled her eyes, sitting next to Hidan on the other couch.

"Get off now," Itachi ordered.

"No, I like hugging you," I replied.

He pushed me into Deidara and I curled my arms around the blonde instead. Deidara sighed, leaving me leaning against him, and he carried on with the homework that was due tomorrow. Rolling my green eyes, I saw Temari and Hidan bickering under their breaths and a frown furrowed between my brows.

What was up with those two?

They were always arguing, and Temari refused to tell me why. A sigh pushed past my lips and Deidara grumbled something about annoying girls, shifting slightly, my arms coiled round his middle.

Tobi suddenly bounced into the room, wriggling into the seat between Itachi and I, and Itachi rolled his onyx eyes. Tobi hugged Deidara and me and Deidara instantly began protesting, trying to wriggle free of our grip.

"Dei-Dei! Stop moving!" I snapped and Tobi giggled, "Tobi, did you just giggle?" I said slowly and he giggled again.

He sounded like a girl.

"YOU SOUND LIKE A GIRL!"

"DON'T YELL IN MY EAR UN!"

"Sorry," I smiled innocently, "I was yelling at Tobi if it helps."

Deidara just gave me a smoldering glare and went back to his homework, grumbling.

* * *

Kisame was screaming, loudly, Itachi was smirking, Temari was cackling, everyone else was watching with fascination, and I was forcing sushi into Kisame's mouth.

The large, blue boy was tied to a chair (a feat I'd managed with Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Pein and Itachi's help) and I was shoving sushi into his mouth for Itachi's sick amusement. All for hugs….

Heh, it's totally worth it, I hugged about ten random freshmen.

But now some blonde kid keeps hugging me every time he sees me…

"Okay, it's all gone," I announced as I forced the final piece of sushi into a sobbing Kisame's mouth, "sorry, Kisame, but it needed to be done, you know I can't live without hugs," I said quietly, patting his head, and he glared at me.

"Just untie me," he ordered hollowly and I quickly untied him, "now, I'm going to kill you!" he roared and I screamed.

Diving over the couch in Deidara's dorm, I scrambled up from the floor and shot to the door. But Kisame blocked it, looking like a ferocious animal as he breathed heavily, and I gulped, backing away slowly. He took a predatory step forward and I screamed again, running around the small, crowded dorm.

My body suddenly collided with someone else's and we both crashed to the floor with yells of shock, and pain from him.

Deidara glared up at me and I grinned guiltily, dark brown hair falling over my face. The others were laughing at our obvious discomfort, which caused us to glare up at them, and I quickly pushed myself into a standing position.

But Deidara managed to slip on his way up and grabbed me in an attempt to steady himself, which resulted in us falling back to the ground.

Our 'friends' laughter increased and I glared down at Deidara, his arm tight around my waist, "let go," I snapped, getting severely annoyed now, and he hastily retracted his arm.

With a slight, pink, embarrassed flush to my cheeks, I stood and punched Tobi in the head for laughing. He instantly silenced, whimpering, and I smirked triumphantly, skipping out the room after ruffling Hiding's perfectly in place, slicked back, silver hair.

The corridors were crowded, as usual, and some students were looking at Deidara's dorm door with frightened looks. Well, Kisame had been screaming in there mere minutes ago. A slight giggle escaped me at the memory and two people suddenly hugged me and I yelped in surprise.

Dumb freshmen…

"Uh, what?" I said slowly to the blonde and brunette boys that were hugging me.

"Just hugging you Nat!" they grinned, the brunette with pointed teeth, strange.

"Right, well, get off, I have homework to do and I've only got an hour to do it before my round of Kakuzu torturing starts," I sighed, swatting them away, and they frowned in confusion, "I'm evil, get over it kiddies, though, you could help," I mused and they suddenly looked mischievous and eager, "what are you names?" I smirked.

"Inuzuka Kiba!" the brunette grinned.

"Uzumaki Naruto!" the blonde declared.

"Right, come with me, kiddies, no one can hear us, and I'm the evil witch to freshmen, so no telling anyone I can be nice, alright?" I warned, walking away, and they nodded, grinning, "good, I can train you well yet," I smirked deviously, stepping into the elevator, and they instantly stood either side of me, "damn, you two are short," I mumbled, ruffling their hair, and they glared weakly.

We were soon sat in my dorm, them on Temari's bed, me on mine, and I slapped them away from Temari's drawers with a glare. Rubbing their hands with pouts, they looked at me questioningly and my smirk slid back into place as I began explaining the plan of great importance.

* * *

"Dei," I whispered into the blonde's ear and he cursed loudly, falling off the couch, "so much for not being noticed," I muttered, grabbing his ear and dragging him out the common room.

"Nat!" he snapped and I released his ear, "what do you want, un?"

"Oh, your help, with torturing Kakuzu," I smiled happily and two identical whines suddenly entered our ears.

"But daddy! We need the money for food!"

Deidara's jaw dropped as a twitching (at least, I think he was twitching, kind of hard to see with the mask and all) Kakuzu walked round the corner with Naruto and Kiba clinging to his legs. Clamping a hand over my mouth to cover my laughter, I looked at the ground and Deidara's shocked blue eyes shot straight to me.

Quickly, I put on an innocent expression and Kiba and Naruto continued to whine like they were born for it, which they were, they were born to serve me. Deidara chuckled, knowing this was my doing, and I shrugged helplessly.

"Couldn't help it, they were so willing to ser-hey! Itachi's little brother! Is that my stapler?!" I interrupted myself and Sasuke, Itachi's little brother, froze, staring at me with wide, dark eyes, "hand it over," I commanded and the large, shiny, red stapler was instantly in my hand, "now, you owe me a little favor dearie," I smiled sweetly and he honestly looked terrified.

"Nat, maybe you shouldn't traumatize Itachi's little brother, un," Deidara suggested and I just continued smiling sweetly at a gulping Sasuke.

"Now, you are to be my personal slave for the next week, okay, sweetie?" I said, voice sugary sweet, and Sasuke began protesting, "Itachi, your brother's mine and Temari's slave, is that okay?" I asked a randomly passing Itachi as Sasuke said Itachi would never allow it.

"Whatever," the elder Uchiha shrugged.

"Thanks!" I grinned brightly, turning back to Sasuke, "Kiba and Naruto will show you what to do, the difference between you and them, is that they're getting paid."

"Uh, Master of Evil," Kiba cut in hesitantly and I looked at him, eyebrow raised, "we're not getting paid."

"In candy and teachings of evil, Kiba dear, now get back to destroying Kakuzu's sanity before I kick off my services," I commanded and he hastily dove back onto Kakuzu's leg.

Knocking him to the tiled ground.

"Master of Evil, un?" Deidara smirked and I shrugged.

"Naruto called me it and it just stuck," I said, turning back to Sasuke, "now, here's your first job, give this to Temari, ask her 'what is the secret to womanhood?' and bring back her answer to me, oh, and you're not allowed to tell her I asked that question."

"This is punishment, isn't it?" Sasuke scowled, taking the CD from me.

"Don't scowl, honey, you'll get frown lines," I laughed, patting him on the cheek lightly, and he stormed away, "I love being me," I sighed happily and Deidara playfully swatted me over the back of the head.

"You're so childish, Nat, un," he laughed and I laughed too, looking up at him, my green eyes meeting his humor filled blue.

In that moment, something wrong flickered between us, the seeds of, dare I say it, attraction.

Hastily, we looked away and chuckled over Naruto and Kiba and Kakuzu to clear the awkward moment. Kiba was still clinging to the older boy's leg, begging for money and calling him 'daddy', Naruto was holding his hand, doing the same as Kiba, and Kakuzu seemed ready to burst into tears.

Hidan, Kakuzu's best friend, walked past and stopped dead at the sight of two freshmen clinging from his roommate. Deidara and I cackled, loving the look of pure….agony on Kakuzu's face, and Sasuke appeared, red and embarrassed.

"What's the answer, sweetie?" I cooed, crouching down to his level, little shrimp.

"She said big enough boobs to juggle," he mumbled and Deidara and I burst into even louder laughter, "I hate you," the freshmen Uchiha scowled and I kissed his forehead.

"What did I say? Frown lines, sweetie," I scolded playfully and his blush darkened slightly, eyes widening fractionally, "Naruto, Kiba, come here," I said clearly, glancing at Deidara with a raised eyebrow because of Sasuke's reaction to me kissing his forehead, and the blonde simply shrugged, suddenly silent as Naruto and Kiba bounced over, "good boys," I grinned as Naruto and Sasuke glanced at each other.

"Yes, Master of Evil?" the blonde grinned, saluting, and I folded my arms over my chest, smirking.

"This here is our new recruit."

"You only recruited us today," Kiba put in.

"I know, but I must build my army swiftly, right, Dei?" I smirked and he smirked back, nodding, "you three, are serve all of my friends at their asking, unless it's to do something bad to me, then you report instantly and I will think of a plan of action."

"You make it sound like you're declaring war," Sasuke frowned.

"Frown lines," I snapped, "my recruits will not have frown lines."

He hastily cleared his face of expression.

"Do I have to serve my brother?"

"Itachi! Would you call us friends?!" I called to the once again randomly walking past Itachi.

"Whatever."

"Yes, you do, and I will inform everyone of these changes and can I help you, Karin?" I said icily as the redhead sauntered over and her eyes locked onto Sasuke.

That is so gross, he's like fourteen.

"Whose this?" she asked, nodding to Sasuke, who took a slow step back.

"A freshman, you disgusting pedophile!" I cried and Sasuke took another step back, looking fearful, "honestly!"

Karin flushed and glared at me as Naruto, Kiba and Deidara sniggered.

"You're worse than Orochimaru-sensei!"

"I was just wondering why you were hanging out with freshmen!" Karin tried to defend, red as her hair, and my eyes suddenly caught sight of Temari lecturing a redheaded freshman boy.

"Hey, you three, get here," I said, gesturing to my freshmen, pushing Karin out the way, and they circled me, "who's that Temari's yelling at?"

"Gaara, her little brother," Sasuke answered promptly.

"You'll come in handy, sweetie," I grinned, ruffling his hair.

"Hey! I could've told you that!" Naruto protested and Kiba nodded.

"I know, I still love you two too," I cooed and they grinned as Deidara rolled his eyes, "yo! Tem! Get here!" I yelled and she looked round, grinning and skipping over with the freshman in tow, "look at my recruits!" I grinned proudly and Kiba and Naruto stood tall.

While Sasuke and Gaara locked into a silent glaring battle.

"Sasuke, no fighting Temari's little brother, it's against the rules."

"What rules?"

"Rules I have yet to write up, don't argue."

"Yeah! No arguing with the Master of Evil!" Naruto and Kiba yelled.

"Master of Evil?" Temari grinned.

"Naruto suggested it, just stuck," I shrugged, ruffling the blonde's hair, "you know, freshmen aren't that bad."

That's when Gaara lunged at Sasuke and the Uchiha's nose started bleeding, badly.

"HEY!" Temari and I shouted as the pair began fighting furiously and we tried to wrench them apart.

"Deidara! Help!" I snapped as Hidan grabbed Gaara with Temari and Deidara quickly grasped the back of Sasuke's shirt with me, "okay, what the fuck?!" I snarled at the freshmen and Gaara's icy, pale green eyes locked onto me, "hey, don't give me that glare, kid, why the hell did you and Sasuke start fighting?" I growled warningly and he looked mildly surprised.

"Because I felt like it," was his cold response and silence fell, a shocked, thick silence that made me blink, startled at the crisp, simple response.

"You _felt_ like it?" I repeated, incredulous, and he nodded, "aw, you just need a hug."

"What?"

Before he could protest, I'd wrapped him in a tight hug and Temari was cackling at her brother's look of sheer disgust.

"There, I'm hugged out for the day, let's go freshmen, our newest recruit needs ice for his bleeding nose," I said, releasing Gaara and walking away with the other three freshmen following, Sasuke tilting his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose to stop the bleeding.

Silly little freshmen.

* * *

**Sorry it took so long to update, I've been caught up in, well, everything, tonnes of stuff is happening at mine and it's just like….ARGH! You know? Yeah, you know…**

**Anyway, hope you liked this chapter and review it!**

_**pervyuncleKITA**_**: thanks for the review!**

_**Wolfdmon:**_** Hehe, thanks for yet another review, makes me smile**

_**xXfluffyXx13**_**: ah, well I hope you like this chapter!**

_**kinara-chan**_**: You think you can beat me? I don't think so! I have all the freshmen in all of the world to sacrifice their lives for me! I may have lied to them and said I'd do all their homework until they graduate, but that's not the point! I shall defeat you and take over the world!**

**Ahem, onto the next review:**

_**tobi7**_**: electric staplers, hmmm….**

_**jirachi49**_**: yep, Sasu's going to die under Nat's, uh, care**

_**Tropicalna**_**: You can't have Sasori, Sasori belongs to whoever I decide to pair him with! If I decide to…ah, you can have him for now I guess, byte Sasori! Have fun!**


	8. Barbie Girl

"Deidara!" I cried happily, leaping onto the blonde and cackling at his yell of surprise...and pain. We'd crashed to the ground and he was glaring at me angrily, blonde hair completely ruined. "Miss me?" I grinned and he continued to just glower at me furiously. "Love you," I cooed, patting his head, and he slapped my hand away, snarling at me to get off him. "Fine, I no longer love you and shall make your life hell, Dei-Dei," I pouted, standing, and my little minions rushed forward, surrounding me.

"Stupid, Nat," Deidara mumbled as he stood and I glared at him, placing my hands on my hips, green eyes narrowed warningly. "Uh, Nat, stay like that forever, un," Deidara smirked, blue eye focussed on my chest, and I frowned, glancing down. My school blouse was pulled tight against my chest and his leer was incredibly disconcerting.

"PERVERT!" I screamed, slapping him, and he flew to the ground again, moaning in pain. "You deserve it, we're friends and you have no right to stare at my chest, understand?" I snapped and Naruto and Kiba nodded, while Sasuke looked incredibly bored. "At least pretend to be interested, Sasu," I sighed and he grunted uncaringly.

"Nat," whined Deidara, eyes still fixed on my torso, and I punched him. "Owie," he scowled, rubbing his red cheek, and I rolled my green eyes. "You are a mean person, Nat, and you have stupid little freshmen-"

Naruto's, Kiba's and my gasps of hurt cut him off him off and Sasuke just rolled his onyx eyes.

"Blasphemy, freshmen are not stupid, they are tools-I mean, good friends and helpers," I corrected hastily at Naruto and Kiba's hurt looks and Sasuke, yeah, you guessed it, rolled his eyes. "Come here, my boys," I smiled brightly and two freshmen clung to me tightly, grinning. "That includes you, Sasu," I snapped, yanking him into the hug too.

Ignoring Deidara now, I shooed my freshmen down the corridor and Temari soon joined us, chuckling at the three freshmen. Naruto and Kiba had their arms wrapped tightly around my middle, heads against my shoulders, and Sasuke was scowling, sandwiched into the hug between Kiba and Naruto. Aw, I love my freshmen, Sasuke not so much, but Naruto and Kiba were amusing.

"Hey, we got homework, Nat, let's get moving," Temari laughed, grabbing my arm and yanking me free from the freshmen's grips. I patted each of their heads in turn and allowed myself to be pulled down the corridor by my best friend and roommate. "Aw, they love you, well, Sasuke doesn't, but he doesn't love anyone," the blonde girl said and I giggled.

"I know, little Sasu needs to learn to love, I'll talk to Itachi," I smirked and Temari knew what I meant by 'talk'. It meant I'd beat the stupid Uchiha into submission and force him to listen to me and do as I say. "Ugh, my head hurts," I mumbled, rubbing my temples, and Temari just patted my head soothingly.

Soon, we were sprawled across the couches with our homework and the boys were glaring at us, silently demanding that we move so they could sit down. We smiled sweetly at them, but didn't move and Itachi lifted my legs, sitting in their place and dropping them back into his lap. His onyx eyes were focused on the television and I ignored him, writing out an essay for English as I lay on my stomach and wrote.

Suddenly, I was all too aware of the gazes focussed on me and I raised my gaze to meet the envious glares of Itachi's fan club. Raising an eyebrow slowly, I glanced over my shoulder at Itachi and he was smirking slightly. Realisation slammed into my head mercilessly and my green eyes narrowed dangerously, knowing his plan. If he pretended he was with me, then his stupid little fan club would leave him alone and I'd be faced with the glares, rumours and possible attacks. Fan girls were very devoted to their line of work…

"Itchy, that's my seat," I stated and his smirk grew, onyx eyes flashing with amusement, but he didn't reply.

With a light snort, I turned back to my homework and waved slightly at Deidara when he walked into the room. He paused at the sight of my feet in Itachi's lap and his brows furrowed slightly, but Itachi and I were now bickering over him using the backs of my calves as a table to do homework on. Laughing slightly, I poked Itachi playfully in the chest with my sparkly blue painted nailed big toe and he flicked my hand away, creating a sting on my foot.

"Ow! Itchy! That hurt!" I whined, pouting, and Deidara was now sat in the armchair beside us, keeping his eyes on the television. "If that bruises, I swear to god, I'm going to hurt you," I threatened Itachi, turning onto my butt and lifting my foot to my face. "It's just red, you're lucky, Uchiha Itachi," I frowned, poking him on the cheek, and he grabbed my wrist, pushing me back onto the couch. "Aw, if you felt that way, all you had to do was say, Itchy," I grinned, winking at him.

"You wish, Natsumi," Itachi replied in that incredibly annoying calm tone and I poked him with my toe again, turning back onto my stomach to finish my essay.

"Dei-Dei, could I borrow a pen? Mine's run out," I asked, raising my head to look at the blonde, and he shook his head sharply. "What? Why?" I whined, pouting, and he cast me a disinterested look.

"I don't have my things, un," he stated and I rolled my green eyes with a playful grin, tucking my dark brown hair behind my ear.

"Fine, Itchy, since you're using my legs as a freaking table, can I borrow a pen?" I shot at Itachi and he narrowed his onyx eyes slightly at me. "Please?" I added hopefully and a pen suddenly hit me in the head. "OW! Who threw that?" I demanded angrily and Kisame began whistling innocently. "Thanks for the pen," I muttered and plucked the pen from the floor. Kisame just grinned, revealing his white pointed teeth, and I threw my discarded shoe at his head, smirking.

"I want that pen back!" he shouted and I cackled.

"NEVER!" I declared, cackling still, and Itachi and Deidara rolled their eyes at me. I just giggled and continued with my homework. "I'm bored, so very _bored_," I sang, finishing my essay with flourish, and Itachi and Deidara looked at me with boredom in their own eyes. "I know! Let's do karaoke!" I exclaimed excitedly, sitting up and looking at Itachi, Deidara and Kisame pleadingly. "_Please_, we could find the others and make them join in, can you imagine Sasori and Pein and Hidan singing?" I grinned and Deidara's lips tweaked into a smile.

Grinning happily, I leaped into his lap with a small squeal and hugged him tightly. He awkwardly patted my back and I yanked my phone from my bag, dialling Temari's number. Quickly, I explained the plan, which made her laugh, and she agreed to round up the others and bring them to the common room. Deidara rolled his blue eyes at my excited grin and Itachi and Kisame looked rather pained, but knew better than to attempt an escape.

Very soon, the others were crowded into the common room and Temari was blocking the door to make sure no one escaped my evil clutches. Tobi was bouncing up and down excitably, giggling behind his mask, and I was still sat in Deidara's lap, looking over the fearful looking group of my friends. Sasori was edging closer to the door, despite it being blocked by Temari, and Hidan was glowering at Temari and I.

"Okay, boys and girls, tonight is Karaoke Night!" I announced and looks of pain flitted across everyone's faces, except Konan's, whose expression was mildly excited, though she tried to hide it. Deidara had his arm around my waist, trying to coax me out of it, and I just shushed him, grinning excitedly. "Pein! As 'leader' you have to go first!" I giggled, pointing at the orange haired boy, and he flinched.

"Just do it, Pein, get it over with," Konan soothed, patting his cheek, and his gray eyes flicked to her pleadingly, begging her to get him out of this. "Go on," she persisted and he, dragging his feet, went to the karaoke machine that had miraculously appeared in the common room.

"What song?" I asked, fiddling with the song thingy beside Deidara's chair, still sat in his lap, and Pein mumbled the song he wanted. "Pain! Three Days Grace!" I declared, putting it on.

Pein gave me a glare as the song started and he held the microphone to his mouth. He began singing in this low, raspy voice that was actually kind of sexy and I hastily shoved the thought from my mind, giggling slightly. Deidara looked at me questioningly, arm still snug around my waist, and I just shook my head, wolf-whistling for the dearest Pein, who glared at me. Temari and Konan were cheering for him and Tobi was cheering for his 'leader' delightedly.

The second the song was finished, Pein threw the microphone into my lap and I giggled. "You were wonderful, darling," I teased and he glared at me angrily. "Alright, who's next?" I asked, looking around at everyone, and no one raised his or her hand or volunteered. "Fine, I'll choose, Kisame, you're up," I grinned, throwing the microphone at the large boy. "What song, Fishy?" I asked sweetly and he glared. "Oooh! I know! Under the Sea!" I cried, putting the song on.

Growling, Kisame sang through gritted teeth and Tobi, Temari, Deidara, Hidan and I began laughing at his angry, gravely voice. Even Itachi was smirking and the fan girls were gazing at him with adoring eyes, sighing dreamily. I rolled my green eyes, before whistling and clapping as Kisame finished his song and he attempted to throttle me. With a squeal, I buried deeper into Deidara's embrace and he chuckled, wrapping his arms around me and patting my head.

Eventually, after I'd forced Hidan, Tobi, Temari and Itachi to sing, it was my turn and the others were plotting what song I had to sing. Rolling my eyes, I waited impatiently, microphone in hand, and Tobi was giggling as Pein punched in the right song and the bane of my existence blared from the speakers, taunting me.

Barbie Girl.

Gulping down my anger, I held the microphone to my lips.

"_Hi Barbie  
Hi Ken!  
Do you wanna go for a ride?  
Sure Ken!  
Jump In._"

I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world  
Life in plastic it's fantastic!  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!

I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world  
Life in plastic it's fantastic!  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a blond bimbo girl, in a fantasy world  
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly  
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,  
kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky...  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

(uu-oooh-u)

I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie let's go party!  
(Uu-oooh-u)  
Come on Barbie let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie let's go party!  
(Uu-oooh-u)

Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please  
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees  
Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,  
hit the town, fool around, let's go party  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie let's go party!  
(Uu-oooh-u)  
Come on Barbie let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie let's go party!  
(Uu-oooh-u)

I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world  
Life in plastic it's fantastic!  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world  
Life in plastic it's fantastic!  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie let's go party!  
(Uu-oooh-u)  
Come on Barbie let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie let's go party!  
(Uu-oooh-u)

Oh, I'm having so much fun!  
Well Barbie, we're just getting started  
Oh, I love you Ken!

I finished singing through gritted teeth and the others laughed delightedly at my expression, which was one of pure anger. Deidara patted my head as I sunk back into the armchair with him and Hidan smirked at me from his spot on the couch next to Itachi, who looked rather smug. Growling slightly, I thrust the microphone into Deidara's hand and demanded he sing 'Gay Bar' with a smirk. He glared at me and ultimately refused, even when I used my adorable pout, so I forced Sasuke to sing it instead, since he was still my minion and all.

"You are cruel to my foolish little brother," Itachi stated in a monotone and his onyx eyes bore into my green ones.

I smirked. "He stole my stapler," I stated simply, turning to look at the tomato red Sasuke. "Aw, you did so well, honey, come here and give me a hug," I cooed, yanking him into a cuddle before he could protest, and Deidara groaned beneath the unwanted weight. "Shut up," I told him, cuddling Sasuke determinedly, and the little freshmen wriggled in my grip, attempting to escape. Oh, my dear, you will never escape my clutches, hehe.

"Get off me! Itachi! Get your crazy friend off me!" he whined pathetically, pushing me with all his puny might. I slapped the back of his head sharply, silently scolding him, and Itachi just sat there as his little brother was reduced to torture from me.

"Now, now, darling, do you want to sing another song?" I crooned, running my fingers through Sasuke's raven hair, and he cringed, finally stilling and allowing me to hug him. Aw, all the fun's gone from it now, no fair. Sighing, I dropped Sasuke to the ground and he glared at me as Naruto and Kiba bounced in and hugged me tightly. "Hello, my beauties, do you want to sing?" I asked and they nodded rapidly. "Okay, you pick a song and sing together," I smiled and they instantly began bickering over which song to sing.

After a moment, they were screaming into the microphones and the rest of us were talking, while I kept my arms around Sasuke's neck so he couldn't escape. He was sat on the floor in front of the armchair I resided in with Deidara and he was sulking obviously, looking longingly at the door. It just made it all the more fun. Giggling, I kissed the top of his head and pink blush instantly dusted his ivory cheeks. He always blushed when I showed him affection, while the other two just clung to me tighter and called me the 'Master of Evil' even louder, which me giggle.

"Sasuke-kun!" two voices suddenly squealed and I looked in horror at the pink haired freshman and the blonde beside her.

"MARTIAN!" Tobi squealed happily and I was still horrified, while Sasuke was attempting to hide somewhere, but my grip was too tight.

"Who is that with her grubby little claws all over _my_ Sasuke-kun?" the blonde suddenly demanded and my eyebrows shot up.

"Deidara, I didn't know you had a sister," I muttered, taking in the terrifying resemblance to Deidara from this girl.

"I don't un!" Deidara snapped and my jaw dropped as I looked at him, still hugging Sasuke.

"Serious?" I asked and Deidara nodded, scowling. "Thank fuck for that, she's a fucking harpy," I laughed and she snarled at me. "Hey, watch it, freshman, I can make life incredibly difficult for you," the threat was obvious in my voice, though my lips were spread into a sweet smile.

"Get your hands of my Sasuke-kun!" Pinky yelled, well, screeched like a banshee would be a more correct term, and everyone winced at her voice.

"Sasu, darling, who are they?" I asked slowly.

"Fan girls," he whimpered.

"You're scaring the poor boy," I scolded the girls, smoothing Sasuke's hair, and he shot me an irritated glare. "Do you _want_ me to feed you to the rabid fan girls? Because I will."

"Natsumi," Sasuke begged and I sighed.

"Alright, fine, I'll rescue you," I muttered, releasing him and slinging my legs over the arm of the chair, before pushing myself into a standing position. Smoothing my school skirt, I faced the girls with a pleasant smile and they glared at me. "Sasu is very special to me, practically a little brother, and if you bother him anymore, I will have to maim you and then blame it on the pair of you because it'd be plausible since you are both vying for his affections," I said cheerfully and they stood there, ashen faced.

Then high tailed it out the room.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Sasuke cried hugging me tightly round the middle, and I blinked in surprise, patting his head, which only just reached my shoulder.

"Master? Have you forgotten us?" Naruto whimpered and I shook my head, beckoning for them to come forward. "Master!" he cried happily, joining the hug with Kiba, and my friends rolled their eyes at us.

* * *

"You cannot have an army of freshmen!"

I pouted at Principal Tsunade and she just glared at me angrily, hands slammed onto the desk, which now had a long crack in it.

"It is against the rules! And you having them break a lot of rules and school regulations!" she carried on and I sighed.

"They chose to follow me and I don't have the heart to turn them away," I said innocently and she snorted lightly, throwing herself back into her seat. "I am merely teaching them what the real world is like."

"The real world is not stealing my stapler!"

"You have no proof!"

"Kakashi found you with it!"

"He lies! He stole it himself! He stole the beautiful and shiny stapler for himself!"

"He doesn't have an obsession with staplers! You are the only one with the obsession with staplers I know!"

"You still don't have any proof that I stole it! And that wasn't a confession! You also have no proof that my freshmen stole it! Also not a confession!"

"GIVE ME MY STAPLER!"

"NO!"

"GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!"

"GLADLY!"

With that, I slammed the door of the office behind me and went down the corridor with a grin, my fingers curled around the shiny, red stapler that belonged in her office.

* * *

**Kill me if you want! I'm so sorry! I've been ill with glandular fever and I haven't had the inspiration unless you count the constant lethargy! And then there's my exams and I've been so, **_**so**_** busy and I'm so sorry and you have full permission to kill me for this shitty chapter!**


	9. Ayame

"Stop it! Get off me! _Dei_!" I squealed with laughter, trying to shove his hands away, and he just grinned at me, tickling me mercilessly. "Deidara! Stop! I can't breathe!" I giggled, wriggling beneath his hold, and he laughed at me, refusing to release me. The rest of the common room didn't even spare us a second glance and I tried wriggling away from him, giggling breathlessly. "_Dei_!" I whined and he released me, laughing at my red cheeks and tousled hair, straddling me.

"That is for calling me a girly man, un," he stated and I glared at him, though it was spoilt by my giggles and I pushed his chest lightly. "Nope, I'm rather comfortable, Nat, un," he replied calmly and I stuck my tongue out at him. He stuck his tongue out right back and Hidan strolled into the room, one eyebrow shooting up at the sight of my bright red cheeks and Deidara straddling me.

"I don't even want to fucking know," Hidan muttered, sitting in the armchair and dumping his bag on the table. I glared at him, still giggling slightly, and frowned at his unbuttoned shirt that revealed his muscled chest.

"Why do you always have your shirt undone?" I asked curiously and Hidan gave me a weird look. "Hidan, it's a simple question, dimwit," I grinned, poking Deidara in the stomach, and the blonde flicked me on the nose. "Stop it, bad, Dei-Dei," I scolded and he laughed, while Hidan was muttering something about perverts as he did his homework. "Hidan, answer my question," I whined childishly and he rolled his magenta eyes.

"I fucking feel like it," he retorted, stabbing the page with pen, and I snorted lightly.

"You're an idiot," I stated, reaching for the book I had to read for the English class with Kakashi, and Deidara moved back so he could read his own book. "What page you on?" I asked, poking him with my toe.

"Five, un," he answered and I laughed slightly. "Shut _up_, un," he scowled.

"Sorry, Dei-Dei," I giggled.

Silence fell, apart from Hidan's occasional cursing about the homework, and Deidara and I were rested comfortably on the couch, reading the book for English class. Occasionally, we had a foot fight and I'd shove my toe into Deidara's face, but other than that it went smoothly and Hidan was still cursing under his breath. Giggling, I poked the silver haired boy and he snapped at me, glowering. I just stuck my tongue out at him childishly as Naruto and Kiba bounced into the room and Sasuke was dragged along behind them.

"Master of Evil! We've come for our orders!" Kiba grinned excitedly and I looked at them with an amused smile.

"Well, I have class in a few minutes, but I guess I can give you a couple of orders," I laughed and Deidara rose an eyebrow at me, obviously wondering why I was being nice. "I've grown fond of them, okay?" I snapped and he snorted lightly. "Okay, go and make Karin's life hell, _no matter what_," I smirked and the three freshmen left, Sasuke being dragged by the other two. "I'm going to that dumb class with Kurenai-sensei, why did I have to take Home Ec?" I groaned, marking my page and shoving my things back into my bag.

"Tsunade's making me take the class too, after I blew up the art room, un," Deidara sighed and we both pouted, while Hidan laughed.

"Shut up!" we snapped.

"Deidara, just fuck her already," Hidan smirked.

I smacked him across the back of the head and Deidara was refusing to look at me, while my cheeks were a light pink. "Hidan, you is bad," I scolded, flicking him on the nose, and he glared at me as I left the common room and Deidara followed me, chuckling.

A few people greeted us as we passed them in the hall and we just nodded in reply, before continuing to tease one another mercilessly about…everything. I called him a transvestite and he called me a moody bitch, ah, one big happy family.

Pushing Deidara, I shot into the classroom first and he yelled in shock, racing after me and grabbing me in a headlock. I wriggled furiously, trying to escape, and he laughed at my attempts, ruffling my dark brown hair as I screamed insults and the rest of the class watched with amusement.

"Deidara, Natsumi, sit down," Kurenai ordered and Deidara slung me over his shoulder, revealing my Scooby Doo underwear to all, and the boys in the class wolf whistled happily. Laughing with me, Deidara slapped my butt and I yelped, blushing slightly, as he dumped me into my seat and I punched him lightly on the arm. "Alright, that's enough," Kurenai laughed and Deidara and I saluted, grinning at her.

"Yes Kurenai-sensei ma'am!" we cheered and Deidara added a 'un' of course.

"Okay, you two, that is enough," Kurenai smiled and we nodded, obediently quietening down. "Now, I told you last lesson we'd have a special project," she looked far too excited. "You'll be placed into pairs and you will have a doll to take care of for a month, treating as though it were a real baby and you were its parents," she announced.

The entire class stared in horror.

"DEI-DEI!" I screamed.

"NAT!" he cried.

We hugged one another, sobbing, and Kurenai snorted angrily, hands on hips, red eyes narrowed in a glare. I never noticed it before, but her eyes are like those red contacts both Uchihas have and think we don't know about, yeah right, Itchy and Sasu, I stole them and replaced them with pink ones...um maybe I shouldn't admit to that when they find out.

But back to the horrifying subject at hand here.

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE A MOMMA!"

"I'M TOO PRETTY TO BE A DADDY UN!"

I just looked at Deidara blankly, no longer sobbing, and he looked slightly embarrassed.

"Dude, I don't even know you anymore," I muttered, turning away from him.

"Nat, I'm sorry, un," he tried as Kurenai handed out the dolls and I clung to Deidara's hand, whimpering fearfully. "You're back to me un!" he grinned, hugging me. I rolled my green eyes, but just patted his back and kept my gaze on Kurenai. She placed a doll in a car seat type thing on the desk and continued onto the next desk. "It looks so real, un," Deidara whispered, horrified, I think, and I poked the plastic stomach of the doll.

It screamed…loudly.

Letting out screams of our own, Deidara and I clung to one another and Kurenai rolled her eyes.

"This counts as three quarters of your grade in this class and, if you fail, you won't graduate, so take good care of your daughter," she said in a singsong voice.

"Okay, we can do this, Dei, we can do it," I said, reaching out warily and lifting the doll into my arms.

It continued to scream.

"Make it shut up, un!" Deidara cried and I glared at him, attempting to shush the baby by rocking it awkwardly and saying 'shut up' in a sweet voice. "I don't think that's working, un," Deidara scowled.

"You try something!" I snapped.

"I don't know what un!"

"I hate you!" this was accompanied by a smack to Deidara's head.

Hey, the screaming stopped.

"HAH!" I cheered and Deidara glared at me, rubbing the back of his head. "Okay, little baby, you can't cry anymore because Nat will get a really bad headache and Nat with a headache is not a fun Nat," I smiled at the doll and Deidara looked at me like I'd finally lost my mind.

"Nat, it's a doll, un," he said slowly.

"It's a special doll!" I snapped.

Deidara rolled his blue eyes, though he was smiling slightly, and I cradled the doll against my chest, the doll all wrapped up in blankets. It looked like a real baby, the plastic was even soft like baby skin, and all the other girls in the class were cooing over the dolls. I wasn't cooing (I am not that pathetic), I was just holding the doll and smiling at it, not talking to it.

"She needs a name," I decided and Deidara looked like he was in pain. "I like Ayame."

"Fine, un," Deidara grunted and I rolled my green eyes. "Nat, I don't care, it's just a project and I don't care, un."

"You are so cruel, _hubby_," I smirked and Deidara looked slightly scared at the word. "I'm kidding, Dei, honestly, you and me, married? Yeah, I see that and it is _horrible_," I laughed and he chuckled, hugging me with one arm. "So, is baby's name Ayame? Yes, baby's name is Ayame-oh my god, I'm cooing," I groaned and Deidara laughed at me.

"You have to alternate the nights the baby spends with each of you, unless you're in the same dorm, and male/female parings cannot bunk together for this project," Kurenai said sternly.

"Damn, there goes our excuse for being together, Nat, un," Deidara grinned teasingly at me and I laughed.

"I know, but this is good practice for Deidara Junior," I laughed and he laughed with me, while everyone else gaped at us.

"That's _enough_, you two," Kurenai sighed, used to our antics. "The rest of this lesson is basically free and you can pick up a packet that has useful tips inside and the bag that holds the food and diapers for your baby on your way out of the classroom," she explained and we all bolted to the front, grabbing the packet and running out the room.

Deidara and I went to the common room with Ayame and found Hidan (who had a free period) sat in the exact same place we left him in. He looked up as we entered and his jaw dropped at the sight of the doll baby cradled in my arms and Deidara holding a baby bag and the car seat thingy.

"Hi, Hidan," I smiled brightly, sitting on the couch, and Hidan continued to stare. "What?" I demanded sharply.

"Is that a fucking _baby_? What the hell? What have you two been doing? How in the fuck did you a hide a pregnancy belly?" Hidan was yelling by the end of it and pointing at me accusingly.

"Hidan, this isn't a real baby, it's for class and I haven't even been here nine months yet, so I doubt I've had a _baby_, and I don't plan to ever have one, I mean, ow, childbirth," I snorted lightly, patting his knee, and Deidara sat beside me, poking Ayame's head. "Don't poke her, you'll make her cry," I hissed and his hand instantly withdrew.

(*_*)

Temari and I groaned as a wailing rang through the dorm at five in the morning and Temari threw a pillow at my head. I glared sleepily at her and sat up, reaching down the side and lifting Ayame into my arms tiredly. Rocking her, I gently shushed her and rose from bed, deciding to walk her around until she silenced and woke everyone in the process.

"Dei," I yawned, going into his dorm, and he groaned, rolling away from where I poked him with my toe. He continued snoring happily and Tobi was hugging his pillow and mumbling 'Deidara-sempai' in his sleep. Okay, creepy. "Deidara," I hissed, shoving the crying doll beside his head.

He yelped in shock and fell out of bed, making me laugh slightly. "Nat? Why are you here and with a crying baby, Un?" he asked sleepily, looking up at me through his messy locks of blonde hair, and I sunk onto his bed as Ayame stopped crying.

"She wouldn't shut up," I mumbled and Deidara climbed back onto the bed beside me. He took Ayame from me and he placed her in his sock drawer. "Sleepy time now," I yawned, curling into a ball on Deidara's bed.

Very soon, we were both sleeping peacefully and Deidara's arm was thrown carelessly across my waist, head on my shoulder blade as he snored lightly. I was on my stomach, sprawled across the mattress, and Deidara was drooling on the back of my Scooby Doo tank top. Noooo, don't drool on my Scooby Doo.

(*_*)

"NICE LADY!"

I groaned at the loud yell, burying my head into my pillow, and was there wet on my shirt? Why was my shirt wet? Ah, who cares, sleepy-bye-byes is most important, it was a Saturday after all and I am going to sleep the day away no matter what. Hm, I think there's someone next to me, ah, who gives a crap? Sleep.

"NICE LADY! DEIDARA-SEMPAI! WAKE UP!"

"Tobi, shut up, un," a voice groaned, a chest vibrating against my back, and I found the sensation rather nice.

"THE BABY'S CRYING!"

"Baby? Momma and papa had a baby?" I mumbled, green eyes cracking open, and I met a very messy wall covered in posters of naked girls. "Ew, whose dorm am I in?" I said sleepily, attempting to sit up, but I found undoable thanks to the weight on my back.

"Nat, don't move, un," Deidara's voice moaned sleepily, arms wrapping around my middle, and I cuddled into the warmth they offered, letting my eyes fall closed again. I was on my stomach, a warm body curled around mine, and my arms were wrapped around a firm middle. "Nat," Deidara murmured softly, warm breathe brushing across my neck.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

Hidan must go way, sleeping…with Deidara…shit.

"This is not what looks like!" I yelped, sitting up, and Deidara's head fell into my lap. "EW! There's drool on my back!" I shuddered and Deidara sat up sleepily.

"Huh?"

"You drooled on me you sicko!"

He yelped as I smacked him to the ground and Hidan, Pein, Sasori, Kisame, Konan, Kakuzu and Itachi sniggered in the doorway. Tobi helped Deidara though and I was still shuddering about my poor shirt. Oh, Scooby, I am so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen and it's all Deidara's fault.

"So why are you two in the same bed?" Itachi asked calmly and I latched onto him for safety.

"It wouldn't stop screaming, Itchy, you have to save me," I whispered, pouting up at him, and he calmly flicked me on the nose with his onyx eyes closed. "Owie, pain, Itchy, you don't flick people," I frowned, rubbing my nose, and my arms wrapped around his middle again.

"Your child is crying," he stated.

"Dei-Dei, we're getting a divorce, you can have custody of Ayame because I am running away to Suna with Itchy," I smirked.

"NO!" Deidara cried, hugging my legs.

"I don't want to run away with you," Itachi put in.

"Fine, Hidan!" I cried, leaping into his arms.

He promptly dropped me on the ground with a smirk.

"YOU BASTARD!"

"Hush little baby, don't be scared, Uncle Tobi's going to take care of you," Tobi cooed and we all looked at him.

A sly smirk spread onto my lips and I leapt up.

"Tobi, darling, would you watch her for me?" I smiled sweetly. "I'll give you a whole pack of lollypops."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Tobi's in!"

"Good boy, I'm going to shower, you watch her for me and if you need anything, the bag's in my room and Temari will let you, plus Deidara will help you out," I said quickly, bolting before Deidara could slaughter me.

About an hour and a half later, I was lounged on my bed in my dorm and Temari and I were laughing about something random. Tobi had already taken the baby bag and he was taking little Ayame to the park, aw, bless.

Suddenly, my dorm door was thrown open and Kisame was cuddling Temari and I, sobbing. We exchanged terrified looks, frozen in fear in Kisame's arms, and I saw sushi smudged at the corner of his mouth. Oh, someone fed poor old Kisame sushi and he's mourning the loss of his family.

"Kisame, _let go_," Temari growled out, trying to shove him away.

"Don't leave me alone!" he cried, clinging to her tightly and releasing me.

"Bye!" I yelled, running out the room.

And smacking straight into Itachi, who rolled his onyx eyes.

"Save me!" I screamed, wrapping my arms and legs around him tightly. He stood there, not even supporting me as I clung to him like a limpet, and I saw Deidara down the hall, staring at us with an uncharacteristic blank expression. "Dei-Dei!" I wailed, running toward him and flinging myself into his arms. He caught me easily, though he seemed slightly tense, and my arms curled around his neck. "Kisame's crying," I whispered in a trembling voice and the blonde laughed.

"Seriously, un?" he asked and I nodded, pointing at my dorm, which Itachi was peering into. "I have got to see this, un," Deidara grinned, carrying me back to the dorm and ignoring my wriggles and pleads for him to let me go.

"You two are the devils!" Kisame screamed at them, sobbing into Temari's shoulder, and I looked at Deidara and Itachi with a raised eyebrow. "YOU ARE MURDERERS!" Kisame roared, crying uncontrollably, and I flicked Deidara on the nose, laughing slightly. "_Naaaaat_, don't laugh," Kisame whined and I bit my bottom lip slightly.

"Dei-Dei, let's go," I said, pointing down the corridor, and he obediently carried me away. "Aw, we should borrow one of Gai-sensei's sunset backgrounds," I giggled.

* * *

**Thank you for all reviews and reading my story, means a lot ;)**


	10. Suffocating Sasu

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh no, not again.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

No, stop.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_Noooooooooooooooooooo_!

As Temari threw a shoe at my head, I rolled out of bed, literally, and hit the floor with a hard thump that made my darling best friend snicker. Ayame was still screaming and I, reluctantly, picked up the doll and began rocking it. Stupid project…

I glared sleepily out the window and focused that glare blearily on the just rising sun. It was the sun's fault, if the sun didn't rise I could always sleep and everything is the sun's fault. With this determination, I grabbed Temari's shoe, opened the window and threw the shoe at the sun.

Only after this was done did I realise that, one, the shoe couldn't actually reach the sun and, two, Temari was going to kill me for throwing her school shoe out the window. Gulping, I glanced at the sleeping Temari and breathed a silent sigh of relief. Ayame was finally silent and I put her back into her makeshift drawer crib, before going into the bathroom.

Half an hour later, a scream was heard from Temari and I, thankfully dressed in my uniform, grabbed Ayame and ran for it.

"NAT! YOU THREW MY SHOE OUT THE WINDOW!"

People stared at me as I ran, my hair soaking wet, and Ayame was rested in my arms. For once she was silent and I went to Deidara's dorm to steal his hairdryer. He and Tobi were snoring when I broke in and I put Ayame right next to Deidara's head, before plugging in the hairdryer and switching it on.

"Don't kill Tobi!"

"Shut up, Tobi, it's just me," I sighed, running my fingers through her hair and drying it quickly. "How is he still sleeping?" I frowned at Deidara, Ayame screaming next to his head, and then I saw yellow earplugs in his ears. "Oh, that little-!" I stopped with an angry noise, kicking Deidara right in the butt.

With a yelp, he crashed to the floor and Ayame landed on top of him.

I grinned down at him, still drying my hair, and he glared at me, his earplugs falling out. He grumbled at me as I continued to dry my dripping wet hair and Ayame carried on screaming. Humming happily to drown out the noise, I ignored Tobi's whining, Deidara's grumbling and Ayame's screaming.

"_It's a small world after all!_" I sang loudly and Deidara glared at me, trying to shut Ayame up. "_I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! Diddly-diddly-dee! Big ones, small ones, some the size of your head_!"

"Nat! Shut up!" Deidara cried and I continued singing at the top of my voice.

Suddenly, with a war cry, Deidara tackled me to the ground and I screamed in shock.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I shouted, punching him on the shoulder, and he glared down at me.

"Shut up, before I slap you, un."

Pouting, I shoved him off me and grabbed the hairdryer again to continue drying my hair. "_We're all going on a summer holiday, a summer holiday_!" I sang happily, sitting on Deidara's chest and pinning him down.

"I hate you, un."

I ignored him and carried on singing happily, while Tobi danced around the dorm with Ayame…in his underwear. Wrinkling my nose, I looked away from the sight and ran my fingers through my nearly dried hair. Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I bother coming in here when I'm met with Tobi running around in his sunshine briefs.

Suddenly, the door was thrown open and Hidan stared at us for a moment, before silently turning and walking away. Aw, not even Hidan finds us strange anymore.

With my hair dry, I pulled the dark brown locks into a ponytail, took Ayame and walked out the dorm, leaving Deidara grumbling and Tobi sobbing.

"You!"

"Eep!"

Temari smacked me over the back of the head. "How could you throw my shoe out the _window_?!" she yelled.

"I was trying to destroy the sun," I whimpered, rubbing my head.

"Oh, I understand."

Temari and I hugged tightly, wailing, and Itachi walked past with a roll of his onyx eyes.

"You don't understand!" I accused him and he raised an eyebrow. "Hug!" I grinned happily, jumping onto him in a demanding hug.

His eye twitched ominously.

Hehe, that's a fun word omi-nous-ly.

"Why are you saying ominously slowly over and over again?" Temari asked and I looked at her, my arms and legs wrapped around Itachi.

"It's fun," I giggled. "Ominously! Ominously!"

Itachi shoved me to the ground and I whined.

"Evil, Itachi," I pouted up at him and Temari was cackling happily.

* * *

Ayame sat innocently in Deidara's arms as we sat in Math with Ibiki-sensei and he glared evilly at all the dolls in the room, daring any of them to cry. If they were real, they'd have most likely pooped themselves from sheer fear.

A small wail sounded from Ayame and Deidara and I froze.

"Who was that?" Ibiki said in a terrifyingly dark and low voice and Deidara and I pointed behind us at Karin and her partner, Juugo. "Out!" Ibiki commanded and Karin, whining, left the room with Juugo and her innocent doll.

Deidara and I were snickering under our breaths, my hand over Ayame's speaker in case she cried again, and Ibiki looked at us suspiciously. We smiled innocently, gulping down our snickers, and we could still Karin wailing about unfair it all was. Oh, we were so mean, but it was what we did.

A finger poked me in the side and I swung round to glare at Deidara, who grinned at me. "Karin's going to kill you, un," he whispered and I quirked an eyebrow. "She already hates you, and now you just got her sent out, she's going to kill you, un," he smirked and I snorted lightly.

"I'd love to see her try," I smirked back at the blonde and he chuckled, knowing I was fully capable of handling _Karin_.

"Shut up you two," Ibiki snarled threateningly and we gulped, silencing instantly. We may like to create havoc, but we never _ever_ disrupted Ibiki-sensei's class through fear of death.

Soon, the bell rang and Ayame, along with a few other dolls, began screaming loudly. Ibiki's scarred face contorted into a scowl, making it uglier than usual, and we all grabbed our dolls and ran. He glared after us and Deidara and I laughed slightly as I managed to calm Ayame down quickly.

"Oi! Tsukino!"

I turned at the angry (and rather rude) voice and found Karin glaring at me with Juugo, who was hugging their doll, at her side. "You could've just said hello," I said patronizingly and Karin looked ready to rip my throat out at my sweet smile.

"You got me sent out of class!" Karin snapped.

"Then you really should be thanking me," I smirked back and her fingers twitched like they longed to curl around my throat, which was very likely.

"You're so full of it, Tsukino, and no one around here actually likes you, so why don't you crawl back under what ever rock your parents dragged you up beneath?" Karin sneered.

"Hey, don't diss the rock," I pouted.

"You don't deny your parents are utterly incompetent then?" Karin smirked.

My fist slammed into her face and Deidara caught Ayame before she hit the floor. Karin screamed in agony and Kisame and Hidan grabbed me, dragging me away before I could do anymore damage. Kisame had my legs, Hidan had my torso, and I was being carried away horizontality down the corridor. No one even looked surprised nowadays, even as I yelled insults at Karin and snapped a stapler threateningly.

"Nat! Calm down!" Kisame shouted.

"I SHALL MAKE HER PAY!"

"Is there a reason you're using a French accent?" asked Hidan.

"I haven't in a while, not since I left my old school."

"Oh, well carry on," Hidan said.

"SHE HAS HAIRY FRENCH ARMPITS! AND SHE _WAXES HER MOUSTACHE_!"

The corridor burst into laughter and I laughed too as Hidan and Kisame set me on the ground and Deidara thrust Ayame into my arms. The four of us had art next, so we walked together and I shoved Ayame into Kisame's arms. Sasori joined us and I wrapped my arms around one of his, cuddling against him with a smirk at his pained expression.

"Hi Mizuki-sensei!" I chimed happily and he grunted in reply as we all sat down, crushing around one table. "Sai-kun," I smiled sweetly at the freshman that was at the table next to us. "How would you like to join my growing ranks of freshmen army?" I asked and he looked at me with those blank, dark eyes.

"Do I get paid?" he asked unemotionally and I smiled.

"In candy and evil teachings," I answered sweetly and he pondered for a moment. That was a nice word, pondered.

"What kind of candy?" he asked.

"Whatever kind you like, within reason of course, darling," I smiled and Sai tilted his head to side as he thought.

"What about strawberry laces?"

"Those are my favourite!" I gasped delightedly, sitting beside Sai and wrapping my arms around him. "You have to join!" I exclaimed.

"Okay, who is else is part of it?" Sai inquired.

"Naruto, Kiba and Sasuke, but Sasuke's two weeks is ending in three days," I pouted and Sai nodded as I continued to cuddle him. "I might be able to get him back, but I'm also going to recruit a few other boys who've been pestering me so you'll make lots and lots of friends," I cooed.

"That's nice," Sai stated, drawing despite my arms being tight around his shoulders.

"Uh huh, but you need to play nice with the other kids, Sai-kun, or Tsunade-sama will tell me off," I warned in a light tone and he nodded. My green eyes landed on his drawing and widened in surprise at the sight of a picture of Hidan, Sasori, Kisame, Deidara and I with Ayame in Deidara's arms, it looked almost like a photo. "Wow, that's amazing, Sai-kun," I murmured.

"Thank you, Natsumi-san," he replied and I smiled slightly, resting my head on his shoulder. "You are rather affectionate."

"Yeah, one time Itachi banned me from hugs and I force fed Kisame some sushi in order to regain the hugs," I sighed sadly and Kisame snivelled at the memory. "It was a rather sad day," I murmured.

Sai just looked at me for a moment, dark eyes on my green ones. "Witch," he stated, before going back to his drawing, and I gaped at him as my friends cackled.

"Thank you," I cooed, kissing Sai's cheek soundly, and someone plopped into the seat beside me. "AH! Sasu!" I squealed happily, releasing Sai to glomp Sasuke, and he just let me. "I just recruited Sai-kun, isn't that nice?" I smiled.

"Why did you recruit Sai? You have Kiba, Naruto and I," Sasuke frowned and I sighed.

"The more the merrier, dear, and you need to make more friends, you're so…"

"Quiet?" Sai suggested from beside me.

"No, emo," I replied and my friends could barely breathe through their delighted cackles. Sasuke glared at me, cheeks pink, and I smiled fondly at Sasuke and Sai when they got locked into a glaring match. "Sasu, play nice with Sai or you get any candy today and Sai gets your share," I scolded, going back to my seat next to Deidara, and he placed Ayame in my arms. "It's not fair I can't pawn her off onto the freshmen anymore because Kurenai-sensei banned it," I pouted.

"So cruel, un," Deidara nodded his agreement and I leaned against his broad shoulder, rocking Ayame gently as she made that sound she made before she started screaming. "Mizuki-sensei's giggling again, un," muttered Deidara and we all looked at him, crickets chirping in the background.

"Mizuki-sensei is strange," Sai mused out loud and we all, except Sasuke who was scowling, nodded in agreement.

"MASTER OF _EVIL_!"

I smiled at the delighted cries and Naruto and Kiba ran in, latching onto my arms. "Hello, my minions," I said fondly, patting their heads, and they chattered happily to me. "Boys, boys, calm down, I want you to meet someone," I cooed and their eyes at looked at me with that delightful evil I'd placed there. "This is Sai, my new recruit," I said, touching Sai's arm lightly.

"We're being replaced again?" Naruto whimpered.

"No," I soothed, patting his and Kiba's cheeks, and they stared up at me pleadingly. "I just thought we could use some more recruits and you need to make more friends your own age."

"Hi," Sai smiled with a slight wave.

"Master of Evil," Kiba whispered, tugging on my sleeve, and I looked at him patiently, absently smoothing Sai's black hair. "Why is he purring?"

"Because he's like a kitty cat," I answered, petting his silky hair, and Naruto and Kiba glared at him slightly. "Naru, Kiba, you are in charge of taking care of Sai and showing him the rules and procedures," I commanded sternly and they saluted. "Good boys, your mission today is to follow Karin around singing Ugly," I cackled.

"Yes Master of Evil!" Naruto and Kiba chimed, saluting me once more, and they looked at Sai expectantly.

"Say 'yes, Master of Evil'," Kiba hissed.

"Yes, Master of Evil," Sai repeated obediently and I ruffled his dark hair fondly. "What about Sasuke-san, doesn't he have to say it, Witch-san?"

"HOW DARE YOU CALL OUR MASTER A WITCH?!" Kiba and Naruto roared, shaking their fists.

"Boys, it's okay, I don't mind," I put in calmly, touching their cheeks lightly, and they gave Sai glares, but didn't say anything else. "And Sasu doesn't say it because he's decided to leave instead of continuing on permanently in three days," I sighed sadly, hugging Sasuke close protectively.

"Nat, I don't think he can breathe, un," Deidara sniggered and I grinned.

"Yeah, I know."

Sasuke struggled in my arms and Naruto, Kiba and Sai didn't even care that he was struggling for air, poor boy no one really cared. He wriggled in my grip, but I easily hugged him against me and ignored his struggles, talking pleasantly with the amused Deidara and Hidan. We just ignored Sasuke's wriggles and carried on talking to each other, smiling, well, Hidan wore his usual smirk and Deidara was grinning.

Ah, the delights of suffocating Sasu-chan.

* * *

**Once again, sorry for the ultra long wait for the update! I have no excuse this time so feel free to throw rotten fruit at me**


	11. Sorry

**I have severe writer's block for this story, **_**severe**_**, and I don't know what to do with it, so it's on hiatus until further notice**


	12. The Library

**Staplers in the Library**

It called to me, so shiny, just sitting there, looking so _pretty_, and damn Deidara was holding me back...butthead. I was practically tethered to the chair with it sat mere feet away from me, while Tobi was prancing around like a happy little lamb that wanted its head cutting off, which I would gladly do. Why did he drag me here?

"Nat, cool it," Deidara grinned patronizingly, ruffling my hair, and I glared at him, sat in the library in front of the stapler, such a pretty, shiny stapler. "I thought you liked libraries."

"Yeah, when I'm not being tortured," I whined and earned a glare from the librarian, which I promptly ignored. "Why are we even here, Deidara? Tobi's an idiot," I pouted and he scowled, glaring at Tobi.

"Because Kisame's decided he wants to kill us again, since someone gave Tobi about thirty sugary substances," Deidara snarled, looking at me accusingly, and I just smiled innocently with a 'who me?' expression on my face.

Scowling, Deidara glared down at the art book he'd taken out, clay figurines staring up at him from the page, and I sighed, completely bored. My gaze rested back on the stapler, evil plots running through my mind, and my fingers itched towards my phone. I do have those little minions willing to do my bidding, they even call me Master, so I could call them and get them to steal it from me to add to my growing collection of stolen, I mean, _procured_ staplers.

Smirking evilly, I slipped under the desk (Deidara looked terrified at that) and my nose wrinkled at all the gum stuck under the desk. Ugh, didn't anyone clean under here? It was so gross, okay, Natsumi, just take in a deep breath, close your eyes and call before Deidara gets really freaked out and starts screaming like the girl he wishes he was.

"Naruto," I hissed into the phone when his far too bubbly voice answered. "Get to the library now, I have a mission."

"_Libraries are icky_!"

"I'll give you sweets, bring Kiba, Sai and Sasuke with you," I commanded irritably, for once agreeing with my annoying little orange wearing minion.

"_Yes, Master_," he grumbled and I grinned, hanging up and clambering back into my chair to find Deidara rolling his blue eyes.

"What?" I snapped irritably, giving him a warning look, and he grinned at me innocently, which isn't very innocent, stupid boy. "Hush, I have a mission for my little minions and its death defying," I giggled evilly.

"Don't make them steal the stapler," he groaned and I smiled sweetly, turning my gaze to the stapler.

Oh no.

That's not good, that's not good at all.

The stapler was gone.

_Gone_.

"Dei-Deidara," I whimpered, grabbing his arm, and he winced as I dug my nails into his arm. "It's not there," I said hollowly, eyes wide, and he quirked an eyebrow, looking where I was looking and giving a slight shrug.

"Someone must be using it," he said simply, pulling free and going back to his book. Hey! What about me?! I'm traumatized here!

Wow, who knew I could throw a book so far?

"Nat!" Deidara snarled as his book flew over to Tobi, who was crouched over something, and hit him in the head. "I was reading that!"

"Was, as in the past tense, right now, we have a horrid turn of events to consider," I said seriously, staring up at him with determined eyes, and he looked ready to throttle me.

Before he could however, my saviours, my little minions ran into the library and Naruto and Kiba tackled me in a delighted hug, while Sai and Sasuke stood in the background. Well, they brightened my mood at least, I could boss them around and poke them, especially sulking Sasuke.

Kiba's bag was barking suspiciously, though, and I frowned slightly as the librarian's eyebrow twitched in anger. Her nametag had a little smiley face on it next to her name 'Kaya' so surely she should be a happy, smiley person instead of glaring at me like I just announced that the world was coming to an end.

"Witch-san," Sai greeted and I grinned at my third-in-command-minion, ruffling Neil's sunshine blonde hair.

"What do you want, Natsumi?" Sasuke scowled, dark eyes narrowed angrily, and I sighed, wondering why he was my second-in-command.

Ignoring Sasuke's glare, I yanked them all under the table with me, including Deidara, who whimpered at the gum in case it got into his long hair. "Shut up, we have more important things than your hair," I snapped, turning to my little friends. "A travesty has befallen us," I announced dramatically and Naruto and Kiba looked horrified as Deidara and Sasuke rolled their eyes and Sai looked politely puzzled. "The stapler I was planning on taking has disappeared," I said softly in a grave voice.

"Hey, where's Tobi?" Deidara asked suddenly and I froze.

Tobi, the name was like an alarm bell ringing in my head and my eyes narrowed dangerously on Tobi's cousin: Sasuke. He blinked at my livid expression, knowing even if he was my favourite, it was never good to annoy me, and I grabbed him by the collar, yanking him closer.

"You, number forty seven-"

"I thought I was number two-"

"I demoted you," I answered calmly and he glared. "Oh shut up, I kidnapped you from your brother's services anyway."

"No, he gave me to you," Sasuke scowled and I smiled at the memory.

"Yes, he did, I love your brother," I sighed happily, before glaring once more. "I want you to find Tobi and if he has that stapler, bring him to me."

"Dead or alive?" Sasuke drawled sarcastically and I smirked.

"Surprise me," I replied simply, shoving him out from underneath the table and cuddling Sai. "Hm, I need more recruits," I mused and Deidara was banging his head against the table leg. "There's gum in your hair."

With a blood curling scream, he leapt out from underneath the table, whacked his head on the table and landed in a heap on the floor. Kaya the cheerful librarian's eyebrow was twitching again, along with a muscle in her jaw, and Deidara shot to the bathroom, clutching his perfect, gum-free, blonde hair. Silly, silly boy, believing the things I say.

"Deidara! Call Temari and tell her to bring Gaara!" I yelled after him and he swore at me colourfully, honestly, swearing around the little ones. The other occupants of the library were staring at us, most in disapproval, the others with open mouths, and I turned to my minions, a finger to my lips. "Shush, so naughty," I whispered, sitting down and sighing disapprovingly.

"Master," Kiba whispered loudly, sitting next to me. "What's taking Sasuke so long?"

"Hm? Oh, I don't know, he doesn't like me much after I called him duck butt head," I sighed sadly, thinking of his weird hairstyle, and Sai was flicking through the art books Deidara left behind.

"Natsumi."

"Sasuke! You came back to mommy!"

"I found the stapler," Sasuke sighed as I latched onto him and I looked at him demandingly. "Tobi has it; he's in the cooking row."

"You're number two again, thank you," I cooed, patting his cheek and skipping to the cooking books as Kaya glared after me. Ooh, Naruto and Kiba were following me, this could come in handy. "Boys, block the other end in case he tries to run with my new stapler," I ordered and they saluted, running off instantly. I trained them so well…

Tiptoeing down the row behind Tobi, I watched him as he sat on the floor with a book, giggling, and little clicking noises were heard, the noise of the stapler. My eyes narrowed on him, fingers slowly reaching out as I neared, and I pounced with an almighty roar that declared war. He screamed, trying to scrabble away from me, and I wrenched the stapler from his hand with a triumphant grin.

"THAT IS IT!" who was that? Do I know that person? "YOU HAVE CREATED NOTHING BUT TROUBLE SINCE YOU ARRIVED!" oh, it was the librarian, Kaya, and she didn't look happy. "OH MY GOD! WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU DONE TO THOSE BOOKS?!"

Confused, I looked down and my jaw dropped at the sight of the books Tobi had been holding. The pages had been stapled together in intervals, since he couldn't staple it altogether at once and I obviously looked guilty with my track record and the stapler was clutched in my hand.

"Um, Miss Kaya Librarian reasonable lady, ma'am, I swear, I didn't do this," I said quickly and she snorted lightly in disbelief. "I didn't! It was him!"

"What?" Tobi said innocently, puppy dog eyes on show, and I was ready to staple those eyes shut.

"Get out of the library and don't come back!" Kaya yelled and I yelped as the stapler was yanked from my hand and I was shoved, rather forcefully, towards the exit. "You are a menace!"

"Thanks, but I swear it wasn't me!" I cried and Tobi sat, cross legged, on the floor with a giggle, rocking back and forth like a child. "YOU!" I screeched, grabbing his leg and dragging him away as he screamed.

Deidara, sniffing dolefully, followed us with his hands deep in his pockets as he left the bathroom and Naruto and Kiba bounced around him. Sai and Sasuke, the former smiling slightly, a book tucked under his arm, trailed after them and Tobi continued to scream as I threatened him loudly.

Stupid library stapler…

* * *

**I have inspiration! Well, my friend kind of threatened me to write another part when she got around to reading it, so I wrote this for a competition. Please, ignore any wrong names, since I may have missed a few when I corrected it.**

**Reviews earn love and hugs from Tobi!**


	13. SNAKE!

It was science class, unfortunately, with Orochimaru staring creepily at Itachi and Itachi attempting to look unaffected, when in reality he was slowly slipping down in his seat. I watched all this with amusement, Deidara sniggering away next to me, and I patted his blonde head fondly, pulling my legs up to fold them on my high stool. It was so cool, my feet didn't even touch the ground, but now Hidan was twisting in his seat in front of me to get a look up my skirt and Deidara 'dropped' his pen, quickly ducking under the desk to get it. I booted him in the face, grinning at his girlish scream, and I kicked Hidan in the back of the chair, sending him face first into the desk.

And what was Orochimaru-sensei doing during all of this I hear you ask with a delighted cackle, well, he was licking his lips with his abnormally long tongue and staring straight into Itachi's blank, onyx eyes. Funnily enough, that was basically the only part of his body visible at this point, just the top of his silky head of hair, such pretty hair, and Kisame was laughing like the true friend he was. True friends laughed at one another's pain, plain friends asked if they were okay and never laughed, even if that friend said that they were fine.

Suddenly, a high pitched scream erupted from Hidan's lips and he was scrambling desperately to get out of his chair, but something hindered his progress. Attached to his long leg was a large, purple snake, which was wrapped around his leg and the stool and Orochimaru finally tore his eyes away from Itachi. Perhaps we should put Orochimaru-sensei in a support groups for people who are obsessed with Uchihas, Pinky the Martian and Blondie-Girl-Who-Looks-Like-Deidara could go too.

Oh, the snake bit Hidan…wait, what? Snake bit Hidan? COOL!

"HIDAN GOT BIT!" I cackled delightedly, clapping my hands in glee, and Deidara was laughing next to me, snorting rather unattractively at several intervals.

"STOP FUCKING LAUGHING AND HELP ME BITCHES!" well, he didn't have to be quite so rude, now did he? For his rudeness, he shall suffer…oh, its getting a little close to his, uh, let's say family jewels, maybe I should help him, you know, because I'm kind. "NAT!"

Aw, he did sound kind of helpless and scared and really squeaky, like a boy just reaching puberty, hey! Maybe he was and that was why he was all squeaky! Hehe, Hidan's pre-pubescent.

"Hidan hasn't hit puberty!" I laughed and everyone looked at me, well, Hidan looked ready murder. Well, someone has a snake attached to their leg and can't move…and it's not in your pants, buddy.

"Nat," he sounded very calm for once and I looked at him with a big grin, Deidara and Temari barely breathing either side of me. "Run," Hidan hissed.

"You're not going anywhere," I smirked back at him, patting Temari's head because I could and she wasn't going to kill me right now.

Hm, I wonder how Amaya is, stupid little brat doll thing hasn't cried all lesson, extremely unusual, and Deidara wasn't exactly paying attention at the moment.

"Wait!" I gasped and everyone looked at me again. "Has anyone got any gum?" I whined pathetically, dismissing the thought of Amaya. She was a good kid, I raised her well, she'd be fine, and I wanted gum dammit!

Still laughing, Temari handed me a strip of gum, cheeks bright red with laughter, and I grinned, shoving the piece in my mouth and chewing happily. The snake was still wrapped around Hidan, Hidan was still glaring at me, the rest of the class was still laughing, and I was popping my gum in big bubbles with a wide grin. Why didn't I like science again? Science was awesome!

"Tsukino Natsumi."

Oh, that was why I didn't like science.

"Be silent and spit that gum out this instant," Orochimaru hissed, prolonging his S's, and I wondered if I could spit the gum into the trash can from where I was sat…at the back of the room. "Get up and put it in the trash," Orochimaru snapped like he could read my mind. AH! Creepy mind reading powers! Hastily, I ran to the front of the room and spit the gum into the trash, pouting miserably. "Hidan, stop screaming, that is my snake, Manda," Orochimaru-sensei said irritably, taking the snake.

Long teeth sunk into Orochimaru's arm.

Awesome.

"SHIT! GET IT OFF ME!" he screamed, flailing around like a fish out of water, and the huge snake stubbornly clung on, his body flapping around like loose skin on a fat man. "FUCKING SNAKE! ITACHI HELP YOUR OROCHIMARU-SENSEI!" he pleaded and we all turned to Itachi.

Hey, where was Itachi?

"Kisame, where'd Itachi go?" I whined, tugging on Kisame's sleeve like a child. "I want Itachi hugs!" I wailed and Kisame sighed, patting my head.

"He's under the desk."

With a delighted squeal, I pounced under the desk…where there was no Itachi! I was lied to! This is a travesty! An outrage! An-ooh! A lollypop! It was even in the wrapper! Eagerly, I leapt for it, but it was tugged out of my grip and I gasped, it was a magic lollypop that moved on its own! Well, no lollypop shall ever beat me! I crawled after the lollypop, pouncing on it to find it gone moments later, and I eventually reached the front of the classroom.

"Itachi, it's a magic lollypop!" I cried happily, waving the lollypop that was now firmly in my grasp. "Why are you holding a piece of string?" I asked, unwrapping the lollypop and going to put it in my mouth.

Before the magic lollypop could reach my mouth, Tobi leapt and yanked it from my grip, pulling his mask up slightly and stuffing the lollypop into his mouth. My lower lip trembled, tears pooling in my green eyes, and I let out an almighty war cry, launching myself onto Tobi (don't even think about it!) and snatching the stapler from the desk with an evil grin. Oh, mighty stapler, serve me well and punish this evil that has stolen my magic lollypop. Tobi screamed, attempting to beat me off him, and I cackled, a little dementedly, I won't lie, but heck, I was having fun and I was mad.

"SNAKE!" guess who?

"NO STAPLERS!"

"BAD TOBI! VERY BAD TOBI!"

"STAPLE HIM! STAPLE HIM!"

"Nat," Itachi said calmly and I looked up at him. "Here," he produced another lollypop, making it appear from behind my ear, and handed it to me.

"Itachi magic!" I squealed happily, leaping on him and unwrapping the lollypop. I sat in his lap, stuffing the lollypop in my mouth, and his eyebrow twitched. "Tell us a story!" I chirped, swinging my legs and looking up at him with wide, pleading eyes.

He shoved me to the ground.

"Manda, let go of daddy," Orochimaru's whimper caught my attention and I looked up at him, finding him attempting to pry the snake off of his arm. "Daddy needs his arm, daddy doesn't want to go to Tsunade again, and daddy doesn't want to have to put up with teacher and student ridicule," he whimpered pleadingly and the snake seemed to narrow its little eyes on him. Aw, it was a cute snake.

Giggling, I yanked the snake off Orochimaru (he screamed kind of loudly, not sure why, but there was a lot of blood) and cuddled like you would a teddy. The snake coiled around me, his head resting on my shoulder, and the class stared at me, while Orochimaru and Hidan curled in the corner (separate ones, Hidan wouldn't risk his precious virginity) and whimpered about killer snakes.

"Dei-Dei, look!" I giggled, waving the snake at him, and he yelped, cowering under the desk.

* * *

After prying the snake off of me, we went to English with Kakashi-sensei, darling, perverted Kakashi, and he was late, as usual, even though he'd just had a class in that very room. Apparently, according Naruto, who'd just been in that class, Kakashi had arrived half an hour late and had left fifteen minutes later after telling them to read Icha-Icha Paradise. He tainted their innocent minds, which was my job! How could he steal my job? With a scowl, I smacked Tobi clear across the back of the head for the sake of it and he yelped, trembling behind Hidan, who was holding a cloth over his bleeding arm.

"Hidan," I said sweetly and he looked at me suspiciously. "Is it hard being pre-pubescent at your age?" I asked and he lunged. "DEI-DEI!" I screamed, leaping into Deidara's arms, and he rolled his blue eyes, but caught me and steadied me against his chest easily. "RUN!" I cried as Hidan face planted on the ground and slowly raised, muttering cusses and death threats at me.

"Why do I have to carry you, un?" Deidara frowned at me and I gave him a blank look, before screaming when Hidan flew at us. Deidara quickly stepped back, dodging Hidan, and the blonde ran down the corridor quickly, throwing me over his shoulder like a caveman would. Hehe, it was pretty funny and I laughed, watching Hidan run after us and listening to him yell horrible, violent deaths at me. "Why do you drag me into your shit, un?!" Deidara demanded angrily, skidding round a corner, and I yelped when my skirt fluttered and showed my panties. "Polka dots? You never cease to amaze me, Nat, un," he smirked, squeezing my thigh, and I gasped, cheeks turning red at the touch.

"Don't do that!" my voice was meant to sound annoyed and angry, but it was higher than usual and slightly breathless, much to his surprise and mine.

As Hidan's yelling grew distant when he took the wrong turn, Deidara lowered me to the ground and I instantly smoothed my skirt down, covering my short style panties. His blue eyes followed the gesture, a hand moving to grip my wrist, and I pulled in an unintended, sharp breath at the warmth I felt at his gentle touch. We usually touched when we fought or when I playfully leapt on him or when he rescued me from evil, but we didn't touch any other time and it felt…nice. My green eyes cautiously met his blue ones, wondering if he felt the same, and his other hand had already lifted, pushing some of my dark brown hair back from my face.

"Deidara?" I sounded breathier and more unsure than I wanted to and he looked curious, inching slightly closer. My heart was pounding in my chest, not knowing how to react or what to do with this version of Deidara, and my head was screaming at me to smack him and laugh, while my heart and my body was desperate to get closer to the warmth he seemed to be radiating.

Lips suddenly covered mine, a hand sliding around the back of my neck, and I gasped softly in surprise, but Deidara simply pressed his body to mine and tilted his head slightly, his blonde hair brushing against my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed, my arms coming up to anchor around his neck, tugging him closer, and he complied instantly, deepening our kiss and wrapping an arm around my waist. One hand was still against the back of my neck, fingers playing with my hair, and his other hand curled into the back of my blazer. All I could focus on was the warmth, the heat, the _fire_, racing through me at his touch and how I wanted, _needed_, more of it.

"Nat," Deidara whispered against my lips and I made a soft noise of question. "There's something on my leg."

"Huh?" I frowned, confused, and we looked down to see Manda wrapped around his leg.

With a girlish scream, Deidara leapt back from me and began shaking his leg desperately, trying to get the huge snake off him. I, still a little dazed, pressed my fingertips to my tingling lips and smiled slightly, watching Deidara trying to get the almost amused Manda off of him.

* * *

**AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I don't know if I like that scene, ugh! Once again, my friend forced me to write this and the whole snake in the classroom thing was an idea she'd been all too happy to encourage.**


	14. Paint

"What is wrong with you?" Temari demanded as I ducked behind her with a small yelp.

"Nothing," I squeaked, risking a glance out behind her and seeing Deidara down the corridor. He was frowning, looking round, looking for something…or someone, and if it was me, I really didn't have the nerve to talk him right now.

"Nat, you've been avoiding Deidara for the past week and you haven't ordered the minions to do anything evil to him, so you haven't fought," Temari paused, frowning at me, and I breathed a sigh of relief when Deidara sighed, shook his head and went round a corner. "Oh my god!" Temari screamed and everyone looked at her, including me.

Silently, with a huge grin and sparkling green eyes, Temari dragged me to our dorm and I whimpered, knowing she'd figured it all out. It'd been a week since Deidara and I had made out in the abandoned corridor, before Manda had appeared and interrupted. I'd avoided Deidara ever since, after I'd dragged Manda back to Orochimaru's classroom, and I hadn't spoken to my guy best friend for a whole week. I missed him, a lot, because he was the one I went crazy with and the one who understood me the most, who made me laugh. Temari was my girl best friend, the one I giggled with, gossiped with, often did mean stuff to the other girls with, but she didn't understand my need to destroy a lot of people, and he got me out of trouble.

"You kissed Deidara or more!" Temari gasped, practically jumping up and down, and I gave her a glare, cheeks bright red. "Did you just kiss or…?" she trailed off and I glared at her.

"Kissed," I bit out and she squealed. "Shut up," I groaned, flopping back on my bed and covering my burning face with my arms.

"Sweetie, you and Deidara are…crazy, but you're perfect for each other," Temari cooed and I groaned again, not sure what to do with all these feelings rolling through me for Deidara. "Why are you avoiding him? Is he a bad kisser or something?" she asked and I shook my head.

"No, it was amazing," I mumbled and she squealed again, but silenced at my glare. "I just don't know what to do, how our relationship is now, so I'm avoiding him because I'm oh so mature."

Rolling her eyes, Temari sat on her bed and threw the homework we had for math at my head. I smiled gratefully, thankful for the distraction, but I was soon groaning in horror at the difficult questions I had and Ayame was wailing next to me. My homework was thrown over my shoulder, before I lifted the doll into my arms and 'fed' her with the fake formula we had. Since I hadn't seen Deidara all week, I'd been taking care of our project alone and it finished tomorrow, which meant I had no choice but to see him tomorrow and I was going to play it cool and calm and…yeah, I wasn't going to talk to him at all.

With Ayame fed, I grumbled and complained over math homework with Temari and tried to push any thoughts of Deidara out of my head. Unfortunately, his stupid blonde head loomed in my mind, with his big blue eyes, soft blonde hair, tanned skin, warm lips, and-no Natsumi! Stop thinking about the kiss that will no doubt ruin our friendship! Deidara's friendship is as important to me as Temari's and my minions servitude, and I wouldn't lose that over an impulsive kiss that was interrupted by a snake, what kind of kiss was interrupted by a damn snake?! It wasn't natural!

"Nat," Temari said slyly and I glanced up at her. "Thinking about him?"

A pillow smacked into her face and she spluttered indignantly, before launching a pillow at me in return and an all out pillow war started. I was soon crouched behind a wall of pillows I'd stolen from other dorms, hidden beneath my bed, and my minions were in the battlefield. I yelled out orders, wishing I had an army hat or something, and Sasuke just sat next to me, rolling his onyx eyes and watching the others run around like a bunch of headless chickens. We chuckled when Naruto fell to the ground dramatically after being hit with a pillow and Kiba fell to his knees next to the blonde, sobbing.

At around midnight, the agitated Tsunade appeared to yell at us and drag the boys off to their dorms, and I let out a wail, clinging to Sasuke. He blushed slightly, pushing me away, before Tsunade yanked him down the hall by his collar and I sighed, dropping onto my bed and yawning widely. Temari was already snoring in her pile of pillows and I grabbed some pillows from the large pile I had, clutching them close to me. I curled into a loose ball, smiling about the war I'd just had, and my green eyes closed to allow me to fall into a deep slumber that wasn't interrupted by dreams.

* * *

Maybe if I just threw Ayame into the classroom, I'd be able to get away and not get dragged into the inevitable conversation between Deidara and I. So, chewing on my bottom lip, I hovered outside Kurenai's classroom, holding all of the things from the project, and I hugged the doll close for some sort of comfort. Deidara was my best friend, I couldn't ignore him like this, I should take a deep breath and go in there with a smile and a bounce in my step. I was Tsukino Natsumi, Master of Evil and Staplers, I was strong, I was amazing, and no one could beat me, not even Deidara and his warm lips.

"Nat." With a startled yelp, I swung round to see the frowning Deidara stood behind me and he looked conflicted with anger, worry, annoyance, hurt, and so much more shining in his blue eyes. "We should go in, un," he said softly, stepping past me and going into the classroom.

That was it? No yelling at me for being a coward? I'd run away from him for a week for _that_? Frowning in confusion, I followed him and sat in the seat next to him, putting everything on the desk silently. For once, we didn't talk, we just sat in silence, and I knew the class was getting freaked out, even more so that I'd been all week. Now I was sitting next to Deidara, I wanted him to talk to me, I wanted to talk to him, and I wanted things to go back to how they used to be, but all I could think about were his lips on mine.

Awkwardly, I glanced at Deidara from the corner of my eye, biting the inside of my bottom lip, and he looked at the board with a stony expression, arms folded over his chest. His sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, revealing his tanned, firm forearms, and his long fingers had clay stuck to the tips, pushed beneath his clipped fingernails. He didn't look at me, blue eyes focused directly ahead of him, and his thick blonde hair fell over his left eye as usual, leaving only his right eye visible, but it was so full of ice that I didn't want to have both eyes looking at me like that. I looked down in my lap, fiddling with the hem of my skirt, and I didn't bother looking up as Kurenai entered the classroom with her usual smile and she started her lecture about the finishing of the project.

Everything from the project was taken from us, including the diaries we'd had to keep, and Deidara and I still didn't speak, just handed everything over. Some of the girls were _crying_, crying over dolls, which was completely pathetic, and I just folded my arms on the desk, resting my chin on my arms. My eyes, against my will, drifted up to Deidara, who glared at the box with the dolls in, and I sighed silently, feeling annoyed and angry at myself. Why did I ever let him kiss me? Why did I avoid him afterwards? Why didn't I just tell him that we should stay friends? I mean, we should stay friends, right?

"Dei," I started awkwardly, voice quiet, and he glanced at me, expression blank. "I-um-about what happened," I said unsurely and he snorted lightly.

"Nothing happened, un," he snapped and I swallowed roughly, nodding. This was what I wanted, for us to pretend it never happened and stay friends, but we didn't seem to be friends at the moment. "Karin," Deidara suddenly grinned charmingly and I glared at the bespectacled girl that stood in front of our desk, daring her to stay there. "What are you doing here, un?" was he purring? He was practically purring! Don't do that!

"I, well, I, uh," Karin stammered, blushing slightly, and Deidara grinned wider, running his fingers up her arm. If he wanted to keep that hand, he better get it off of her because _he was meant to be touching me like that_! "I was wondering how Sasuke was," Karin blurted out, facing me, and Deidara yanked his hand back like he'd been burnt, something I was a little too pleased about.

"Fine," I answered coolly. "Paedophile."

"We're friends!" Karin yelled at me, blushing darker, and Deidara was glaring at the wall, muttering something about the Uchihas getting all the girls.

"No, you're not, he is more friends with Pinky than you," I retorted, waving Karin away dismissively, and she uttered a small shriek of anger, stomping away. "Stupid bitch," I muttered angrily, automatically turning to Deidara, but I stopped at his fierce glare. "Aren't we friends anymore?" I asked quietly, feeling hurt and stung.

"Friends? I thought you just had people to do everything for you and protect you from being on your own, so you don't have to face the fact that you're just like the whores and bitches you hate, un," Deidara hissed spitefully and I stared at him with hurt, wide eyes, flinching as though he'd delivered a physical blow. "We were never friends, Nat, I had a bet with my friends to see how quick I could get into your pants, but it's too much work, frigid bitch, un," he continued with a cruel sneer and I bit back a sob, tears filling my eyes.

My hand collided with his cheek in a ringing slap and I was leaving the classroom before Kurenai-sensei could really understand what happened. Pain tore at my heart, pain I hadn't felt ever, and I clamped a hand over my mouth as tears trickled down my cheeks and a sob threatened to pull free from my grass. Shakily, I headed to the common room where Hidan would be, before I stopped and remembered Deidara had said he'd had a bet with his friends. I didn't want to believe him, I wanted to believe he'd said it because he was angry, but I couldn't and I needed to know if what he'd said was true.

Wiping my tears and neatening my clothes, I went into the common room and saw Hidan glaring hatefully at some homework with Itachi sat opposite him reading a book. They glanced up as I walked in, one of Itachi's eyebrows arching at my red and puffy eyes, and his expression didn't change as I sat next to him. Hidan looked confused and, surprisingly, protective, like he'd beat up whoever had made me cry, and I started crying again, unable to stop the sobs from escaping me. Someone sighed, before gentle arms slid around my shoulders and drew me into a comforting embrace, a hand smoothing my hair.

"Nat, what happened?" Hidan's voice demanded angrily. "Was it Karin? We'll make her fucking pay, no one messes with our fucking friends!"

"Hidan, yelling at her won't help," Itachi said softly and I realised he was the one hugging me. "Now, who made you cry, Natsumi?"

"Deidara said that he was only friends with me because he had a bet with you guys to get into my pants!" it came spilling out before I could stop it and the boys fell into stunned silence. "It's not true, is it?" I asked, feeling hurt at the thought of losing all my friends.

"No it's fucking not! You're our friend Nat! You're out of your fucking mind, but you're our friend!" Hidan shouted furiously and Itachi gently pushed my hair away from where it'd stuck to my cheeks. "He is so fucking dead, that bastard."

"Hidan," Itachi scolded quietly, drawing me into his lap like a child, and I would've scowled if it wasn't so comforting. "We have to find out why Deidara would say such things to her before we kill him," Itachi stated calmly.

"But, I thought he was your friend," I sniffed pathetically and Itachi looked down at me seriously, while Hidan sat next to him and took my hand.

"He is, but you are like a younger sister to us and we must protect you, even though you believe that you can protect yourself," Itachi answered gently and I hugged him and Hidan tightly, dragging the silver haired boy into the hug against his will.

"If you weren't crying," Hidan muttered, glaring at me, and the boys just patted my head and back, attempting to soothe my tears away.

"Why were you two arguing anyway?" Itachi asked quietly and I bit my bottom lip, unsure of whether or not to tell them what had happened. "Natsumi," bad Itachi, using the 'tell me or I kill you' voice.

Before I could stop it, everything came blurting out about the kiss and how I'd been avoiding Deidara all week and everything that had just happened in Home Ec. Itachi rolled his eyes, but his mouth was tense, the only outward sign he was angry, and Hidan was scowling angrily at my words. I didn't know if he was mad at me, or at Deidara, but my question was answered when Deidara walked in with some girl tucked under his arm and Hidan rose, advancing on Deidara. Itachi calmly placed a hand on Hidan's shoulder, obviously having to stand, which left me alone, and Deidara looked over at us, pausing at Hidan's anger.

"Itachi, can you help me with my math homework?" I asked quickly and Itachi nodded silently, sitting next to me. "I need help with my completely bloody history too," I tempted Hidan, holding up a picture of a shinobi execution, and he smirked before he could stop himself, sitting next to me with Itachi on my other side.

Soon, Hidan had me laughing with his dramatic story about the shinobi executions and Itachi was rolling his onyx eyes, attempting to get me to concentrate on math. Reluctantly, I listened to the math lecture, writing down the answers I somehow managed to work out, and Hidan dragged my attention back to the gory stories that you shudder but grin at the same time. Itachi eventually leaned back, correcting Hidan when he got too carried away, and I giggled, but my eyes drifted to Deidara and my smile wavered at the sight of him making out with the girl he'd walked in with.

"MASTER!"

Oh, my little minions, you have the best timing.

"Naru, Kiba, Sasu, Sai," I cooed and Sasuke was instantly suspicious, while Hidan and Itachi smirked and leaned forward silently as I whispered the plan to the minions and they ran off, well, Sai and Sasuke trailed behind.

Ten minutes later, Deidara and the girl *cough*whore*cough* screamed as a vat of horrible, sludgy brown paint was emptied over them and my minions hid on my couch with the cackling Hidan, the smirking Itachi, and me as I laughed delightedly.

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**Thank you for all the support! Here is the next chapter and, Ame-chan, if you really want to join the freshmen army, leave some details for a character in your next review and I'll work it in! Same goes for anyone else interested in joining Natsumi's craziness. I would add my friend, but she's Tobi…yeah, not good.**


	15. Oopsies

Perhaps I needed more freshmen in my army, I mean, Naruto, Kiba, Sasuke and Sai couldn't take care of all the evil I wanted done, so that called for more freshmen and I needed to hold auditions. I couldn't just let in any old riff-raff, _don't_ mention Naruto and Kiba, which meant auditions and I'm sure there are those who would help me. Temari, Hidan, Itachi, Pein, Konan, Sasori, Kakuzu, Zetzu, and Tobi. Deidara would've once been included, but he's an ass and we are no longer speaking, mainly because I'm a coward, but the other part was because he was an ass!

"Sasori," I wheedled, cuddling the redhead with my arms around his neck, and he looked at me with blank, brown eyes, knowing I wanted something. "Could you draw me an audition poster for freshmen to join my army?" I smiled sweetly and he blinked slowly at me. "I'll pay you," I offered.

"I'll have it done by tomorrow, no payment," Sasori stated blandly and I smiled happily, kissing his smooth cheek soundly and leaping into Hidan's lap. "Hidan, you are enjoying her cuddling far too much," Sasori smirked and Hidan glared at him while I stuck my tongue out playfully at the artist.

"Nat, get off," Hidan groaned and I glared at him warningly as Naruto and Kiba sat at my feet like little puppy dogs. "I need to do that fucking homework Kakashi set us, even though that bastard never teaches us ever," Hidan scowled, dumping me on floor, and I stared in horror at him, sat between my minions.

"Hidan!" I wailed, leaping back up and wrapping my arms around his neck. "Don't hurt me," I whined, cuddling against him with a pout, and he suddenly slid his arm around my shoulders.

"Nah, Nat, I'll never hurt you," he said quietly with a whole load of meaning and I quirked an eyebrow, glancing over my shoulder and following his gaze to Deidara, who was glaring at us and he held a new girl beneath his arm. "What were you talking to Sasori about?" Hidan asked.

"Oh, audition poster," I answered and he looked at me blankly. "For my freshmen army," I clarified and he rolled his magenta eyes at my casual admittance of it all. "They're being held tomorrow at lunch," I announced, loud enough for Sasori to hear, and the redhead rolled his brown eyes at me, deciding it was safer not to comment.

So, the day passed, falling into tomorrow, and I was sat at a desk with the reluctant Hidan on one side and the amused Temari on the other. Sasuke, Sai, Naruto, and Kiba were stood behind us, glaring at the queue of freshmen, and I glanced down at the rather extensive list I had on the desk in front of me. We'd broken into an abandoned classroom to hold the auditions, but the queue was pretty long and I had a feeling we were going to get caught. Ah well, I could still recruit people and then hold the auditions again for the last people we didn't manage to interview for a position in my army.

"Okay! First up is Yume Kage!" I announced cheerfully and a curly haired brunette girl walked in, her violet eyes sweeping over the room critically. "Hello, and why would you like to sign up for Natsumi's Freshmen Army?" I asked, putting the tips of my fingers together and leaning back in my chair thoughtfully.

"I figured it'd be fun to annoy the teachers," she shrugged and I quirked an eyebrow. "But, of course I'm completely in love with you, Master Nat," she drawled sarcastically and I grinned.

"You're in! Join my minions!" I declared and Yume sighed, but trudged to my minions and Sasuke took a small step closer to me. "Next!" I demanded happily and a blue eyed, silver haired girl practically skipped into the room, a mischievous glint in her eye. "You're Selene, right?" I asked and she nodded with a giggle. "Reasons for joining and give me a reason as to why you should join?"

"Well, my parents keep going on at me to join a club and I thought-"

"You're in, I don't get along with my parents either, but they are doing well after that crash they had," I interrupted, waving her over to the other minions, and Selene looked vaguely confused, but went over to the others. "Right, next on my stapled list-" here I showed Temari and Hidan the staples I'd put around the edge of my list "-is Daphne," I said and a girl shyly slid up, her highlighted hair swaying as she walked. "You heard what I said to them, get on with it, girl," I commanded lazily, waving a hand regally.

"Um, well, I guess I just wanted to get more involved in my class and, uh, aren't you friends with Sasori-senpai?" she asked, brown eyes sparkling hopefully, and I leaned towards Temari, yanking Hidan with me.

"She could stalk Sasori," Temari whispered and I nodded with a contemplative expression (I was pretending I had a moustache and was stroking it).

"It would be amusing, what do you think, Dan-Dan?" I asked softly and he looked at me like I was crazy.

"Whatever," he shrugged.

"You're in, girl, but your first assignment is already up," I grinned and Daphne blinked, but nodded. "Stalk Sasori and keep asking him to make you a puppet, off you pop," I ordered and she turned bright red, standing where she was. "Go, or I won't pay you."

"Yes, Natsumi-senpai," she nodded, leaving quickly, and I sighed happily, checking my list. Oooh, I felt like Santa checking his list for naughty or nice people, well, sorry, Santa, I'm looking for naughty people.

"Naomi! You're up!" I called and a glasses wearing brunette walked in. Aww, she looked so shy and quiet. "Name the most evil thing you ever did," I said.

"I strung my middle school teacher up by the ceiling."

"She may have to be my successor," I smiled gleefully and Naomi silently went to the others. "Karasu!" I cooed, but paused at the sheer bad-ass-ness that the girl radiated. She had spiky silver hair, a lip ring and yellowy gold eyes. "You're in simply because I think you look cool," I stated and she joined the others, aw, they were all girls, perhaps Sasuke could meet someone. "Nya," I sighed, already bored.

"Hi!" she chirped, but shot a glare at Sasuke and I smirked, but also wondered why she wore leather and feather cat ears. "I like acid green, paperclips-"

"Oh no," Temari groaned.

"Nat, don't kill the fucking freshmen," Hidan said tiredly.

"You like _paperclips_?" I demanded in a dark whisper and Nya nodded. "Do you dislike Sasuke?" I asked coldly and she scowled, nodding. "You're in, but if I see one paperclip, you're gone," I snapped my stapler warningly and she bounced over to the others cheerfully. "Damn paperclips," I muttered.

"Get on with it, bitch," Hidan snapped and I glared at him angrily. "Siyui!" Hidan called and I gasped. That was my job!

"Hello," a brunette, green eyed girl smiled, poking Sasuke as she randomly appeared behind me. "Can I join just to poke Sasuke?" she asked.

"Sure thing," I shrugged, now bored with the whole thing. "We still have like twenty more, let's just let the next ten join and kick out who we don't like," I suggested and Temari and Hidan nodded. "Right! Hinata, Neji, Tenten, Lee, Ino, Sakura, Shino, Shikamaru, Choji, and Suigestu are in! The rest of you can fuck right off!" I yelled, standing and automatically reaching for my stapler. "Where the hell is my goddamn stapler?!" I demanded and Siyui sheepishly held it out. "I'm watching you," I threatened darkly, stalking out the room with Temari and Hidan.

* * *

Yawning, I sat in art with Sasori, who had Daphne staring at the back of his head, and he twitched slightly, but I ignored him and glanced over at Deidara. He was busy with weird clay, making a statue of what looked like a girl, but he suddenly scowled and punched it back into the table, shooting me a glare. I hastily looked at the drawing Hidan was doing, looking away with a cringe at the sight of blood and gore, and he laughed, hooking an arm around my neck and dragging me against him.

A laugh rang from my lips, but I didn't really feel like laughing and Hidan seemed to notice as a frown slid over his face and he gave Deidara a glare. Patting Hidan's arm, I wriggled free to grab Sai in a tight hug and he smiled slightly as I played with his silky, black hair and rested my cheek on his head. Hidan was still glaring at Deidara, so I patted his head soothingly and leaned my back against his arm, not noticing Deidara send us a hateful glare.

The bell rang shrilly, causing us all to scramble for lunch, and Sasori drifted over to Deidara, leaving the group as Itachi joined us and I leapt on him happily. He rolled his eyes at me and I blinked at the bunch of freshmen that suddenly appeared in front of us, most of them grinning. The leader was Naruto, obviously, and I absently patted the blonde's head, giving him a treat for his good work and smiling as he hugged me round the middle and rubbed his cheek against my shoulder as a dog would.

"Hm, Naru, here's the plan," I whispered in his little ear and he looked at me with big, blue eyes. "I want you to attack Deidara, make him suffer, and make him beg for mercy," my voice was full of evil and Naruto grinned, nodding. "Good boy, tell the others and be subtle, in fact, just put…Neji in charge, he's new and needs to prove himself," I decided and the Hyuuga came over to me when I waved for him too. "You are in charge, Neji-chan, make Deidara suffer, understand? Good, now I'm going for lunch, I expect to hear screams by the end of it, bye," I ran after my friends, blowing my army a kiss, and a few of the girls blew some back, along with the boy I knew to be Rock Lee.

Rolling my eyes, I found my friends in the cafeteria and dropped into a seat between Hidan and Itachi, giving them kisses on the cheek just to freak them out. Hidan grinned, but Itachi gave me a slightly irritated look and I laughed, hugging him and finding a dark glare pinned on me. Deidara was sat across the room with Sasori and Tobi, and his blue eyes (the one I could see at least) were narrowed lividly on me. I quickly turned into a conversation Kisame was trying to have with me and I laughed over a stupid comment he made, ruffling his scruffy hair.

"Fishy," I said and he glared at me, but I didn't pay any notice and smiled sweetly. "You may want to move about three steps to the left," I stated mysteriously and he frowned at me, shifting over.

A miniature clay statue dropped from the upper level of the cafeteria and smashed onto Kisame's head, sending him into a dazed state. I winced for him, watching him sway dangerously and crash into the table, and I could practically see the little birdies flying around his head. My minions cackled delightedly, clapping and whooping, and Daphne was crouched behind Sasori, who was twitching in annoyance and, I think (hope), slight fear. He shot the girl a glare and she looked at me for guidance, but I was too busy cackling delightedly as the others dropped Deidara's clay statues to the ground and he stared on in horror.

"Nat," Hidan said slowly and I looked at him, grinning happily at my revenge. "Fucking run!" he yelled, grabbing my wrist and dragging me along as he ran off.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU UN!" Deidara roared furiously, chasing us, and I yelped, quickening my pace to keep up with Hidan's long strides.

"Dammit Dan-Dan! FASTER!" I screamed, noticing the blonde catching up with us, and Hidan yanked me round a corner…and into a closet. "What the fu-?!" my indignant cry was cut off by Hidan's hand clamping over my mouth, silencing me.

Deidara's footsteps were heard racing past the closet, fading out, and I relaxed when there was no more sound, before I realised I was pressed very closely to Hidan. Slowly, he dropped his hand from my mouth and I went to open the door, but his hands closed over mine and stopped me. Confused, I turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow, hands on hips, and he leaned forward abruptly, placing his lips over mine and sliding a hand into my hair roughly to keep me against him.

My green eyes widened in shock, Hidan's lips moving demandingly over mine, and I lifted my hand, slapping him clear across the face. The sound echoed through the closet, Hidan's stunned magenta eyes snapping open, and his usually pale cheek was a stinging scarlet. Without waiting for him to yell at me, I turned and walked straight out of the closet, slamming the door in his face and smirking at his yell of pain when the door smacked into his face. Good! He deserved it for assaulting me like that when I was still confused over my feelings for Deidara and I trusted him so he _broke_ my trust!

Scowling, I stomped down the corridor angrily and glared at the linoleum tiling of the floor, but stopped dead as a pair of ratty shoes met my line of vision. My gaze drifted up, taking in the paint stained pants, the left open blazer, loose tie, and barely buttoned shirt, and I finally landed on the furious, tanned face of the one person I didn't want to see right now. I didn't want to fight with him, I just wanted revenge for him ignoring me (I know I'd done it to him, but that's not the point here!), making out with other girls in front of me, and everything else he did, but I didn't want to fight anymore and, to be honest, I just couldn't be bothered.

"What the hell were you thinking, un?! Those were some of my best work un!" Deidara yelled and I looked at the floor with a soft sigh. "You're a selfish bitch Nat un! No won-!" I cut him off by wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him firmly, effectively silencing him. After a stunned moment, he responded fiercely and I pulled him closer, fire raging through me as I ran my fingers through his blonde hair and pressed closer to him. "Well," he said a little huskily when we broke apart and I looked at him warily. "Are you going to run off this time, un?"

"No," I answered a little breathlessly and he smirked, kissing me again and sliding his arms around my waist. "Okay, so can we please stop this…whatever we've been doing for the past week?" I asked quietly and he brushed my dark brown hair from my face, nodding.

"If you say one thing, un," he murmured with a mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes and I looked at him questioningly. "I want you to admit that you like me, un," he grinned and I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, I like you," I sighed and he grinned triumphantly. "So, what happens now?"

"I'm pretty sure you become my girlfriend, un," he replied seriously and I laughed.

"Well, if you're pretty sure," I teased and he nodded.

"Oh, I am, un," he grinned, pressing his lips against mine again, and I barely repressed a contented sigh, curling my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck.

Yay, was all I could think of.

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**Well, there it is and I think I got everyone in, if I didn't, tell me and I'll slip them into the next chapter. Thanks for reviews, especially those who gave me Nat's freshmen army, and I hope you liked this chapter!**


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